In case you needed a reminder, this past Saturday was bonkers. In one 24-hour period, Milwaukee played host to the Riverwest 24, Brady Street Festival, the Milwaukee Air & Water Show, Milwaukee Brewfest, that “Slide The City” thing, and probably 8,000 more events stocked with food, beer, and summer-infused insanity. Oh, and don’t forget about German Fest, which took over Henry Maier Festival Park all weekend long, and caused a minor panic when people mistook the U.S. Army Golden Knights for UFOs. Wait, what?

Yes, as part of Saturday’s German Fest festivities, the U.S Army’s “official aerial parachute demonstration” team, the Golden Knights, performed a thrilling nighttime jump. And because a nighttime jump would be decidedly less thrilling if it was impossible to see, the Knights plummeted to Earth complete with attached flares. And, because any strange, erratically moving lights in the sky are clearly proof of alien beings visiting our planet (or Milwaukee’s lakefront, at least), people busted out their phones and recorded videos of the shocking event.

Here’s one such video, helpfully titled “U.F.O. (Aliens) In The Skies Of Milwaukee”:

Here’s another one, shot through a chainlink fence for extra verisimilitude:

The “UFOs over Milwaukee on July 25” conspiracy clearly goes all the way to the top, and even includes that goddamn lion that’s totally on the loose in the city. YouTube user Jimmy Harris makes that deep connection in the [sic]-filled write-up to his video, “Ufo sighting During search for lion in milwaukee”:

In Milwaukee wisconsin while M.P.D was onvestigating a lion sighting report what apeared to be a metor, falling stars until these unidentfied objects stop in the mist of air then started to multiply into miniture crafts spaceship?????? They then started getting brighter & brighter with in a still pause position then started flying around one by one formed a line then decended down seem like some kind of reverse gravity

Finally, here’s the appropriately titled “Milwaukee Germanfest July 25th UFO’s LOL.” LOL indeed. Keep looking up, Milwaukee!

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Co-Founder and Editor

Matt Wild weighs between 140 and 145 pounds. He lives on Milwaukee's east side.