A reading from the Book of Matthew:
After Bastille Days, as the second day of the week was dawning, Milwaukee Record came to see the Bronze Fonz.
And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord (in the guise of a Visit Milwaukee social media intern) descended from the skywalk in the old Grand Avenue, approached.
Her appearance was like lightning and her clothing was the People’s Flag of Milwaukee.
Milwaukee Record was shaken with fear of her and became like dead men.
Then the angel said to Milwaukee Record in reply, “Do not be afraid! I know that you are seeking Arthur Fonzarelli the Bronzed.
He is not here, for he is undergoing routine maintenance just as our posts said. Come and see the place where he stood.
Then go quickly and tell your readers, ‘He’s taking a brief break for routine maintenance and will return later this summer looking better than ever.’ Behold, I have told you.”
Milwaukee Record went away quickly from the RiverWalk, fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce this to their readers.
And behold, on their way back to their office they remembered they had done a similar resurrection gag when the Bronze Fonz was briefly removed for routine maintenance in 2022.
Then the Bronze Fonz himself said to them, “Do not be afraid. That was four years ago. Go tell your readers, and they will click on it.”
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