Here at Milwaukee Record, we employ a sentient machine known as the Great Job, Wisconsin! Bot to keep track of the state’s many appearances on dopey online lists, as well as any time a national publication deigns to acknowledges our pathetic Midwest existence. Enjoy?

Our dogs are overweight, Wisconsin. Woof.

According to a survey conducted by One Vet, Wisconsin is home to a lot of plump pooches, chonky canines, and big-boned good boys. On average, the survey says, Wisconsin dogs are 16.38 pounds overweight. Only Virginia (16.67 pounds) and Pennsylvania (18.25 pounds) top the Dairy State for dumpy doggies.

“To determine the states that are home to the plumpest pets,” One Vet says, “One Vet conducted a survey of 2,430 pet owners across 42 U.S. states in September 2021. We asked respondents in each state to list the breed and current weight of their dog(s), then compared that number to the AKC-recommended weight chart according to each dog’s specific breed. From there, we were able to determine the average number of pounds that pets are overweight by in each individual state. Lastly, we compiled a list of the most overweight dog breeds overall.

“Eight states were not included in our study,” One Vet adds, “Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming—due to a low number of survey respondents in these states.” What are you hiding, Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming? SHOW US YOUR PORTLY PETS.

Also, male dogs in Wisconsin are apparently overweight at an average of 20.67 lbs., while female dogs are overweight at an average of 12.09 lbs.

“Always check with your vet if your pooch is experiencing rapid or unexplained weight gain, and make sure you’re feeding your furry friend the right amount of food while avoiding too many treats,” One Vet reminds us. “Exercise in the form of a nice dog walk is also a great addition to your pet’s routine. Sometimes it’s hard not to spoil our pets, but giving them the best quality of life is all the spoiling they need!”

So there you go. Don’t sweat it. Fat dog it. (Apologies to Cowboy Bebop‘s not-overweight-at-all Ein, seen in the picture above. We just love him!)

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