Here at Milwaukee Record we employ a sentient machine known as the Great Job, Wisconsin! Bot to keep track of the state’s many appearances on dopey online lists and studies, as well as any time a national publication deigns to acknowledges our pathetic Midwest existence. Enjoy?
Like it or not, death comes for us all. So how do you want to die? Quietly and painlessly? Dramatically and tragically? Getting caught in the gears of a combine or having your nuts bit off by a laplander?
What if you live in Wisconsin? Then how do you want to die? Well, according to the latest random survey that appears in our inboxes every 17 minutes and is conducted by an insurance agency (Choice Mutual), Wisconsinites want to die “while eating bratwursts.”
First up, Wisconsinites’ top choice would be to pass away while eating Bratwursts. Enjoying a bratwurst fresh off the grill, with a cold beer in hand, is a Wisconsin tradition that brings people together. The smoky, savory flavor of a perfectly cooked brat is hard to beat, especially at a summer cookout. If you’re going to have one last bite, why not make it a brat that’s as comforting as a Packers victory?
Um, yeah, okay. That does sound pretty good. Dying while eating a brat. Huh. We really don’t have anything to add. So, well, great job, Wisconsin! R.I.P.
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