Caleb Westphal hasn’t missed a Friday fish fry since 2013. Follow his never-ending adventures—sponsored by Miller High Life—HERE. This week, fish fry #589 at Mother of Perpetual Help Parish in West Allis.
“Should’ve brought our beer in.”
“They’ve got beer.”
A few minutes later, seven beer cans cracked open behind me. I was in the basement of Mary Queen of Saints Catholic Academy where the line to the cafeteria was beginning to swell. It was the Friday before Good Friday and at the other end of the hallway was a fish fry.
Technically, the fish fry is hosted by Mother of Perpetual Help Parish, which is in the same building as the school (1212 S. 117th St., West Allis; 414-453-5192). It runs from 4:30 – 7 p.m. on select Fridays from the fall through spring. I had read online that the entrance to the fish fry was on 117th Street, so it was okay that I had missed the 8.5 x 11 sign duct-taped to the trailer on the edge of the parking lot that pointed towards the entrance. I found a bigger sign with arrows closer to the entrance. Just inside there were more signs, indicating the direction of the fish fry and the elevator, and inside the elevator there was a special, made-for-Fridays sign that told me I should go to the basement.
So there I was, standing in line in the basement. Ahead of me, Father Matthew Perumpil made the rounds, stopping to talk to some children about holy oils and baptism. The children asked their mom why they were going to a fish fry and she told them “because it’s yummy.” Behind me a group of late middle-aged folks were guzzling down beers. The line moved slowly. The group bought another round.
After close to a half hour, I was in the cafeteria. To the left there was a table where sodas ($1) and beers ($2) were on display and an aluminum foil tin held small bottles of wine ($3). There was Miller Genuine Draft, Miller Lite, and Pabst Blue Ribbon, but I also think I overheard those behind the table saying there were some Coors Lights in the back of the cooler. So if you go in on May 2, for the last fish fry of the season, and you are hankering for a Coors, you are going to have to ask Jerry behind the table to see if he can hook you up.
At the table straight ahead, I presented the $50 bill that my grandma gave me for my birthday and received a ticket that I promptly gave to the lady at the next table, who was handing out plates and plasticware. Adult fish frys are $15 and come with three pieces of breaded cod, three pieces of baked cod, nine pieces of breaded shrimp, or a combination of these where one piece of cod equals three shrimp. Children’s meals for kids between the ages of 5 and 11 are $5 and come with one piece of breaded or baked cod, three pieces of shrimp, pizza, or a hot dog. Children’s meals for those under 5 are free! But there’s no way they are giving away any fish or shrimp, so these come with either pizza or a hot dog. All dinners also come with sides: french fries, buttered parsley potatoes, tater tots, mini potato pancakes, green bean almondine, mac & cheese, coleslaw, bread, applesauce, dessert, and a beverage (coffee, tea, milk, or chocolate milk). Cash and cards are both accepted for payment. Fish fry gift certificates are also available for $15. It’s a brilliant idea: Buy someone a fish fry so they have to come here.
As I approached the serving line, the last of the breaded cod was given out and the tin sat empty. After a short pause—where I stood with bated breath—more cod was dumped in, and I went all in for it. To my amazement, it wasn’t a “pick this side or pick that side” kind of fish fry, but a “what can you all fit on your plate for sides” kind of fish fry. While I turned down the green beans and tater tots, I decided to take the rest. I asked for some fries and potato pancakes. “Is that enough?” I was asked upon receiving six potato pancakes. I foolishly said yes, wanting to keep proper decorum, later regretting not having more piled on. “Gotta leave room for the rest of the good stuff!” they added. The next person filled up the rest of the space on the plate with mac & cheese and parsley potatoes. I probably could have heaped the plate to the heavens, but I ultimately decided not to overdo it.
Then it was on to the tables with sauces, lemon slices, coleslaw, and bread. I went with the marbled rye instead of the light rye or rolls. I grabbed a cup of water and then paused at the dessert table, asking if it was okay if I returned later (it was), because the options were overwhelming and my hands were already full.
The entertainment for the evening was the Jim Madritsch Duo, as it is for every fish fry at Mother of Perpetual Help Parish. They play standards and crack mild jokes that only those at the front have the privilege of hearing. After taking one of the closest seats to them and spreading the gift that keeps on giving in front of me, I dug in.
There was a hearty toughness to the rye, and I quickly chomped it down and advanced. In a paper container, just like the tartar sauce, ketchup, and lemons, the coleslaw was less simple than it first appeared. Green cabbage formed its framework, with a few sizable carrot chunks buried within. It was juicy throughout, with the richest flavors at its base, and with seeds boosting it further.
The mac & cheese was smooth and creamy, and lightly sweet and buttery, a satisfying and cheap filler that couldn’t be ignored, like a pulp fiction novel that can’t be put down. The buttered parsley potatoes from this Catholic cafeteria were not unlike the buttered parsley potatoes that were plopped on my tray at a Lutheran cafeteria some 30 years ago, being nostalgic yet also bringing enough sustenance to warrant their inclusion. Cajun seasoning dusted the fries unevenly, but the fries also had a steady saltiness, and were about as good as what’s found in most restaurants.
Zapped with Wayne Szalinski’s shrink ray, the potato pancakes were miniaturized mirror images of standard potato pancakes. Like with the unshrunk, onion was at the forefront, and there were green specks throughout. But they were small enough that it wasn’t easy to deduce if the specks were sliced green onions, other herbs, or a mix of the two.
The breading on the cod was its most notable component: it was consistently crisp except for the bottom side of one piece, with the overall takeaway being it was on point. It perhaps overshadowed the fish itself, which also was pleasant in composition and taste. Just like with the pancakes, the tartar was awash with green specks, not only of relish or pickle, but of herbs. While the sun didn’t shine through the windows and illuminate this fish like the miracle of last year’s Good Friday church fish fry—I was in a basement without lancet windows this time, after all—I still felt warmth and something approaching grace with this cod, and really with the whole experience.
“There are so many choices,” I said, as I took a picture of the 48 pieces of cake, four cupcakes, and bowl of apples (wholesome) on the dessert table. The Sister behind the table started to chuckle. “What would you suggest?” I asked. The Sister turned to a lady seated behind her —obviously the chief dessert authority at the Mother of Perpetual Help fish fry—who quickly came to help.
“Well, what do you like? Do you like chocolate?” she asked, her voice expressing devotion to her craft.
I signaled in the affirmative. Then I saw one that caught my eye, a piece of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.
“What about this one?” I asked and pointed.
“If you like chocolate, that’s probably a good one to try.”
So with that I grabbed the cake, as well as a glass of milk from the next table over, and headed back to my seat, which I was happy was still open. The Jim Madritsch Duo played “Moon River” as I sunk into the luscious chocolate cake.
By the time I had finished eating, the line no longer was in the hallway. It was 6:15 and the whole thing would be done by 7. This is not a late-night crowd, it being more likely they line up early than straggle in at the end. A reader tipped me off to this fish fry a few months back, writing “I really think this fish fry offering is better than many of the restaurant fish fries I’ve had.” I’d agree, the fish fry is certainly worth trying, and on par or better than what’s found at a lot of restaurants, in part on account of the breaded cod, but also because of the grab bag of sides.
But there is something else going on here that is less tangible that makes it worth trying too: wholesomeness. The families, the entertainment, the workers, the school basement, the signs leading to the cafeteria, the beer and soda stand, the Father walking the line and the Sister behind the desserts. All this and more all add to the mystique. What more can be said about church fish frys? To lift words from one famous Catholic: “God love ’em.” This isn’t a dive bar, and this isn’t a supper club. It’s different, yet it’s the same. Because no matter where you go, it’s Friday night in Wisconsin.
Takeaways: Wholesome; follow the signs from the parking lot; beers available for $2 and you can drink them in the hallway; fish fry is a great deal at $15; children’s meals available, including a free one for those under four, but it doesn’t include fish, so it means nothing; satisfactory breading on solid cod; not limited to one side; mini potato pancakes; pulp fiction mac & cheese; seasoned and salty fries; buttered parsley potatoes never change; 52 dessert options, or 53 if you count the apples; includes performance by the Jim Madritsch Duo; the last fish fry of the season is on May 2.
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