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Ask a kid to name their favorite food and they’ll say pizza. Ask an adult to name their favorite food and, if they’re being honest and/or it’s bar time, they’ll say pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza. Everyone loves it, everyone eats it. It’s versatile, endlessly customizable, and it’s widely available in dozens of different forms. Fancy pizza! Delivery pizza! Frozen pizza! Tavern-style pizza! Wood-fired pizza! Make-your-own pizza! Gimme pizza!

So what’s holding us back from eating pizza all day, every day? This thought (well, the “all day” part) occurred to me recently when I learned that East Side pizza stalwart Lisa’s Pizza had expanded its opening hours to 11 a.m., and that it had added a brunch menu that included a Breakfast Pizza. Pizza for breakfast, you say? Perhaps an all-day pizza pig-out could be achieved!

So, on a random-ass Wednesday, I set out to make this dream a reality. Here’s my report, which includes annoyed police officers, pinball, a possible medical emergency in a bar, and the Brewers dropping an otherwise fantastic game to the San Diego Padres. Oh, and pizza.

BREAKFAST

COLD LEFTOVER “THIN CRUST SUPREME FROZEN PIZZA” FROM PALERMO’S

What better way to kick off my Big Pizza Day than with some cold leftovers from the night before? Yes, if I included Tuesday night in this sure-to-be-award-winning article, the headline could read “My day-and-a-half of eating nothing but pizza for dinner, breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner again, and late-night snack.” The ball’s in your court, Milwaukee Press Club.

Anyway, what can be said about Palermo’s that hasn’t been said before? It’s great! The company has been a Milwaukee pizza staple since the 1960s, and a Milwaukee frozen pizza staple since the late 1970s. And with such a fantastic company in our own backyard (a.k.a. Canal Street), why mess with other frozen pizzas? I happily scarfed down two cold Palermo’s supreme slices at 7 a.m. on Wednesday while walking my kid to school. “Why are you eating pizza for breakfast?” she asked. “It’s for an article,” I told her. “UGH,” she replied, rolling her eyes. Ah, tweens.

BRUNCH

“14-INCH BREAKFAST PIZZA” FROM LISA’S PIZZA

Following a quick visit to the TMJ4 studios for my bi-weekly appearance on What’s Brewing Wisconsin (I talked about our upcoming Morgan Park Picnic, not pizza), I swung by the joint that inspired this whole mess, Lisa’s Pizza (2961 N. Oakland Ave.) Had I been inside Lisa’s in the past two decades? No. Was I happy to make my belated return? Yes. Was I excited to try a pizza covered in scrambled eggs? Um, maybe? (I almost forgot: When an intern at What’s Brewing asked me what the rest of my day looked like and I told her I would be eating nothing but pizza, she was like, “Well, that’s a new one!”)

My hesitation evaporated as soon as I took my first bite. Oh yeah, Lisa’s Breakfast Pizza ($20) is good. I’m a staunch supporter of pineapple on pizza, and now I’m a staunch supporter of scrambled eggs on pizza. Toss in some sausage gravy, a medium crust, and your choice of bacon or Canadian bacon (I went with plain old bacon), and you’ve got a winner.

I put down three slices of this delectable morning ‘za at 11:30 a.m., qualifying the meal as brunch. I was the only person in Lisa’s, too, save for the server, a cook in the back, and a pair of police officers who came in at one point to pick up 40 pizzas they had ordered and who got a little grumpy when they were told they’d have to wait 10 minutes. Cool it, coppers! Lisa’s is worth the wait!

LUNCH

“PEPPERONI SLICE” FROM PIZZA SHUTTLE SLICE SHOP, INSIDE 3RD ST. MARKET HALL

I’m a longtime and vocal supporter of Pizza Shuttle. It’s not exactly anyone’s idea of A+ pizza, but I’d give it a solid B+, and that’s good enough for me. Plus, way back in the early ’00s, a kindly Pizza Shuttle employee more or less saved my life after I inadvertently smoked what was probably PCP with a delivery driver and he drove me around town for five hours in the middle of the night in an increasingly nightmarish ordeal that resembled the most harrowing parts of Training Day. Oh, and Pizza Shuttle is employee-owned, which is cool.

But back to my current ordeal. Following a Breakfast Pizza power-nap at home, I took the bus downtown to the always bustling 3rd St. Market Hall (275 W. Wisconsin Ave.) I arrived at 3 p.m., giving me plenty of time to put away a lunchtime slice of pizza and put in a few games of pinball. The slice, a pepperoni slice from Pizza Shuttle’s 3rd St. “Slice Shop” ($5.25), was solid. It was Pizza Shuttle! ‘Nuff said! (Also: What is it about Pizza Shuttle pizza that makes it taste like Pizza Shuttle pizza? The sauce? The crust? Because 3rd St. Pizza Shuttle pizza tastes exactly like Farwell Avenue Pizza Shuttle pizza. I mean, I suppose it should, but still.)

As for the pinball, I logged a decent-for-me game on the painfully decent Mandalorian table, and a few frustrating games on the brand-new and also painfully decent Pokémon table. Bring back King Kong!

DINNER

“VINCHI’S SPECIAL” FROM VINCHI’S PIZZA, INSIDE THE BUBBLER

Every few months someone on Milwaukee social media mines some serious engagement by bringing up tavern-style pizza. What is tavern-style pizza? Is it defined by the cracker crust? The square pieces? Is it actually Milwaukee-style pizza? Wait, is Chicago trying to claim tavern-style as its own, even though it already claims (the far inferior) deep-dish? Like, comment, share, wash, rinse, repeat. Pizza!

I’ve never been interested in those questions, but I have been interested in a Milwaukee place that inevitably comes up during the tavern-style debate: Vinchi’s Pizza. This is the “secret” pizza joint nestled in the back of Bay View dive bar The Bubbler (3158 S. Howell Ave.) How secret? Well, there are no signs for Vinchi’s outside The Bubbler, so pretty secret! And yes, The Bubbler absolutely qualifies as a dive bar (another deathless social media debate) because it’s cash-only, it has a drop ceiling, and it’s great.

I arrived at The Bubbler at 5 p.m., and was soon joined by Milwaukee Record pal Shea Frevele. Our plan? To mow down a few (square) slices of Vinchi’s celebrated tavern-style pizza before hoofing it to the Brewers-Padres game at 6:40 p.m. Plenty of time! We put in our order—a 12-inch Vinchi’s Special with cheese, sausage, mushroom, and onions ($22)—dialed up a round of High Lifes, and settled in to watch some older gentlemen across the bar play an intense game of Euchre. (At least I think it was Euchre.)

That’s when another older gentleman across the bar totally took a dive from his stool and hit the ground, hard. A big scene ensued, with the bartender and several other folks attending to the gentleman and slowly helping him to his feet. Oddly, no one seemed especially freaked-out by this incident; Shea and I got the sense that this wasn’t the first time this had happened to the bar or to the older gentleman. Just another Wednesday afternoon at The Bubbler! Thankfully, the older gentleman was okay, and he and his wife soon departed after an extended Midwest goodbye. Oh, and the jukebox was playing Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff” and Billy Joel’s “Just The Way You Are” during this whole kerfuffle, which seemed appropriate.

Oh, and the pizza! It was incredible. Absolutely incredible. And worth every minute of the long-ish bar-emergency-delayed wait. Is tavern-style pizza actually Milwaukee-style pizza? That’s debatable. Does Vinchi’s have the best tavern-style pizza in Milwaukee? I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes, yes it does, and it’s not up for debate. (Remember, Vinchi’s is cash-only, too!)

LATE-NIGHT SNACK

LEFTOVER SQUARES OF “VINCHI’S SPECIAL” FROM VINCHI’S PIZZA, INSIDE SHEA’S CAR

Shea and I got to the Brewers game in the middle of the second inning. After watching Jacob Misiorowski put on an absolute clinic for five more innings, we tried to track down the Street-Za stand in American Family Field. My pizza streak would continue! Alas, we couldn’t find the damn thing, and the Ian’s Pizza stand was on the other side of the stadium. Oh well. Watching the Brewers beat the Padres would be reward enou…ah fuck, Abner Uribe blew it in the ninth.

Dejected, we filed out of AmFam Field and walked back to Shea’s car, parked deep in the Yount Lot. Was this how things would end? With a Brewers loss and a loss of ballpark pizza? A-ha! We still had tinfoil-wrapped leftovers from Vinchi’s! I could just eat that! It wasn’t quite 10 p.m., but surely that would qualify as a late-night snack, right?

Why not! And thus my day of eating nothing but pizza ended the way it was likely destined to end: eating cold slices of Milwaukee’s best tavern-style pizza, in a car, in a baseball stadium parking lot, at 9:45 p.m., with a gorgeous and perfectly apt view in front of me.

I love pizza. It’s my favorite food. I never want to eat it again.

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