Welcome to Milwaukee Record’s Weird Al Week, sponsored by Lakefront Brewery! Want daily Al-related articles culminating in a recap of Al’s May 24 show at the Marcus Performing Arts Center? You’re in the right place! Oh, and because this is our third Weird Al Week, we’re calling it Weird Al Week (In 3-D)! You know, like the album!

The last few years have been…weird. Mostly “bad” weird, with the depressing breakdown of our democracy, the slow-motion destruction of our planet, and the ongoing pandemic with no end in sight. One entry on the “good” weird side is Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. A shockingly buff Daniel Radcliffe plays the legendary musician in what looks to be a parody of musician biographical movies.

The movie premieres this fall on the Roku Channel, so until it drops and becomes the #1 streaming thingie of all time (or until Milwaukee Record pairs it as a double feature with UHF at the Avalon for the next few years), let’s talk about all the things we want to happen in this real fake biography.

Ridiculous celebrity cameos

It’s finally safe to call Weird Al an institution. He’s sold over 12 million albums, won five Grammy awards, and even has the key to Wausau. A decades-spanning career means he’s rubbed elbows with plenty of famous people, and the more of them that show up in the film the better it will be. Whether played by the genuine article or one of Al’s funny friends in an obvious wig, let’s have a running gag where he keeps turning down relationships with famous women so he can devote more time to his accordion.

Al accidentally influencing history

Not only is “Gump,” Al’s parody of The Presidents Of The United States Of America’s absolute jam “Lump,” ALSO an absolute jam, it could also be the source of some little-known moments of Al having a greater effect on world history. Perhaps “Eat It” inspired Jane Fonda to start her workout tape empire. Maybe Al accidentally convinced Barack Obama to run for President after a concert in Chicago. Or, in the ultimate meta gag, Al has to drop out of playing Forrest Gump, allowing Tom Hanks to take the role that helped make him America’s Dad.

A kung fu battle with his rivals

Al is famously polite with the artists he parodies, but there are a few that have gotten into a huff over his work. Prince famously never gave permission for any of the songs Al pitched. Both Coolio and Lady Gaga publicly complained about their parodies before quietly walking back their criticisms. What if Al settled his beef behind the scenes by honorably fighting the aggrieved parties? Prince seemed like the kind of guy who would have been down to host a kung fu tournament at Paisley Park.

A Lin-Manuel Miranda collaboration

One celebrity that Al’s gotten along with in recent years is Lin-Manuel Miranda. They collaborated on a polka medley of Hamilton, and during their press tour for it you could see just how much the two men enjoyed each other’s company and talents. If a film needs a hit single to stay in the minds of the public, who better than the guy responsible for wedging that song about Bruno in the heads of every parent over the last six months?

A “lost” Weird Al album

Al’s music captures moments in time. For better or worse, there are songs on each album that are timeless, and others that illustrate why an artist might be a one-hit wonder. (Sorry, Robin Thicke. “Word Crimes” is way less creepy than “Blurred Lines” and just as catchy.) A film that looks back on Al’s career, however, lets him take another crack at songs that he might have missed the first time. Pick two songs from each decade from the 1980s to the 2010s, mix in a couple style parodies, a polka version of “We Didn’t Start The Fire,” and boom, an easy sixth Grammy.

A cameo from Dewey Cox

If the film ends up being a parody of biographies, it would be great if Al crossed paths with one of the greatest musicians that never existed. Walk Hard mined a lot of laughs by sending up the tropes of films like Walk The Line and Ray while also putting out some solid songs. It would be nice to see John C. Reilly show up and give Al some advice right around the end of the second act when he’s at his lowest. With the recent announcement of a Spinal Tap sequel, they could set up some sort of comedy musician cinematic universe.

A painstaking recreation of the greatest scene in the history of cinema

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