Shapes! The world is full of ’em. Triangles! Rectangles! Circles! We could go on, but you probably get the idea. Everything in the universe, from the country you live in, the device you’re currently reading this article on, and even the eyeballs you’re using to see the differently-shaped words, each have their own special shape. Crazy stuff, right?

While even the worst artist among us could sketch a passable outline of Wisconsin from memory, far fewer of us could replicate the borders of the individual city or village we call home. Heck, it’s possible—if not very likely—you don’t even know what Milwaukee (or any other neighboring locale) looks like when pictured on a map. Well, you’re about to.

We’ve rounded up screenshots from maps that show the shape of all 19 municipalities in Milwaukee County. And that’s not all, dear reader! We also ranked them because that’s what we do. So scope out some Milwaukee County shapes and let us know some of your favorites.

19. West Milwaukee

Your occasional reminder that West Milwaukee is its very own village that’s situated near Milwaukee and West Allis. It’s sharp, pointy, and angular…but not in any particularly interesting ways.

18. Glendale

There’s just so much happening with Glendale’s border. Like, what’s the deal with that tiny fin-looking thing on the left side?

17. Hales Corners

Hales Corners kind of looks like a bumpier Kansas.

16. Franklin

Don’t let those jagged little flourishes at the top of the city fool you, Franklin has a downright boring shape. It’s one northern thoroughfare from just being a square.

15. Greenfield

This looks like what you wind up with when the cartographer misplaces their pencil and paper, but has an Etch A Sketch nearby. Also, it’s kind of odd to see areas completely surrounded by Greenfield that somehow aren’t part of Greenfield. Ironically, one such parcel of isolated land is literally a green field. You’d think they’d want to claim that part.

14. River Hills

River Hills is flanked to the east and west by interstate. With those limitations, not much can be done to make it visually pleasing. If Illinois and Florida had a baby, its border might look a little like that of River Hills.

13. Oak Creek

Utah with bangs.

12. West Allis

We love you, ‘Stallis, but there’s just not a lot happening with this border. That little point on the eastern edge of the city’s border is pretty cute though!

11. St. Francis

It’s tough to put into words, but it’s just not very aesthetically pleasing.

10. Cudahy

The abundant shoreline-adjacent border to the east and the clean diagonal line on the western side are both positives, but it’s pretty basic otherwise.

9. Greendale

Puzzle piece-looking ass.

8. Fox Point

The cool thing about the shape of Fox Point is it’s pointy and it kind of looks like a fox’s head if you squint just right.

7. Shorewood

It’s kind of nice to see how the eastern and western borders of Shorewood tightly hug bodies of water. Beyond that, it’s pretty much just a few horizontal lines.

6. Whitefish Bay

Very smooth and crisp other than a few notches.

5. Bayside

Bayside kind of looks like a crude outline of someone with stubby digits giving a thumbs up. It should be a Top 3 municipality shape, but the fact it’s also partially in Ozaukee County costs it a few points.

4. Milwaukee

Milwaukee’s shape is just pure chaos, but in the best way. With all these twists and turns, it’s actually possible to depart from somewhere that’s in Milwaukee, get on the highway in Milwaukee, then leave/return to Milwaukee a few times before finally arriving at your destination in Milwaukee.

3. Brown Deer

We’ve now reached the “looks like a person” portion of this list. Brown Deer kinda-sorta looks like a person who has: a flat top haircut and a mullet, a scrawny neck, a massive overbite and no chin, a huge pointy nose, and a gigantic forehead.

2. South Milwaukee

Doesn’t it kind of look like a weak-chinned, little-nosed guy with a soul patch is cracking a little smile? Don’t answer that!

1. Wauwatosa

We can’t explain it. We won’t explain it. We just like it.

About The Author

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Co-Founder and Editor

Before co-founding Milwaukee Record, Tyler Maas wrote for virtually every Milwaukee publication (except Wassup! Magazine). He lives in Bay View and enjoys both stuff and things.