Dear MKE SEX,
Summertime makes so horny! I want sex all the time. I’m having a great summer fling with this total cutie who likes sexin’ as much as I do. We’re not really compatible outside of the bedroom, but dang do we have chemistry. “No regrets!” is my summer slogan. I want to do it all! The only problem is the heat. It’s been so hot. I live in an upper without air conditioning. Brutal! So what happens is that I think about sex all day, then I get home to meet up with my boo, and we’re both too hot to get funky. We just lay there, overheated and sexually frustrated! It sucks. Do you have any tips or tricks to get us going again, even when it’s hot, hot, hot? I’d love put all this energy to good use before the leaves start to turn and I come to my senses again.
Too Hot to Handle
Dear Too Hot,
It has definitely been hot this summer. If you live out west a little ways, it’s not even cooling down at night. I can see how that would slow down even the most enthusiastic boos and baes. I’ve got a few suggestions that may help:
Stay hydrated. This sounds really basic, but it’s actually super important. You need to be hydrated to sweat, and it seems like sweating is definitely on your agenda. Focus on drinking water all day long so that you’re ready when you get home. And keep a glass of water by the bed so you can keep up on it all night.
Don’t drink alcohol before sex. Because of issues about consent, this is important anyway. But it’s especially important in the heat because alcohol dehydrates you.
Put off dinner. Eating causes digestion, which raises our core body temperature and makes us sluggish. Save the snacking for after the sack.
Put your hair in a ponytail, braid, or man bun of your choosing. Keeping your face and neck cool will go a long way to feeling cooler all over.
Pick up a cheap clip-on fan. You can find them at the big box stores, on the shelves with supplies for dorm rooms. Clip it to your headboard, footboard, bedside table, lamp shade—anywhere so that the cool air reaches you.
Spritz yourselves with cold water in a spray bottle. This will feel especially nice if you’ve got one of those clip on fans blowing. Even if you don’t, the cold water will feel great, and the slow evaporation will keep you cool for a while.
If you and your boo are up for it, try having sex in the shower. You can make the temperature whatever feels good to you, and experiment with new upright positions. There are footrests and handles to make it easier. And silicone lube stays slippery in the shower.
Temperature play can be really fun in hot weather. Run ice cubes over each other’s bodies. Or chill your favorite dildo in the refrigerator before playing with it. Glass, stainless steel, and silicone dildos all cool down really nicely.
Since you didn’t eat dinner before sex, you’ll probably be hungry afterwards. Add a serving of watermelon, cantaloupe or cucumber to whatever you’re eating. They all have a high water content, and will restore your electrolytes. This will help you recover quicker, and be ready to go again tomorrow.
Curious about cunnilingus? Anxious about anal? Do you have questions about queefs or problems with your prostate? Lucky Tomaszek is the education coordinator at The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique, Milwaukee’s only mission-driven, education-focused sex toy store. Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and she’ll get back to you with an answer.