I get a lot of questions about sex in both my personal and professional life. I mean, it’s really a lot of questions. And often, different people ask me the same questions several times in a week or a month. So for today’s column, I decided to ask my Facebook friends: What do you want to know about sex? I got a lot of great responses (thanks Facebook friends!). Not surprisingly, a lot of the questions were topics I’ve already written about. I decided to another round of Quickies (you can find the first two Quickies here and here) with short answers, and then link to the longer answers for folks who want more information. If you’ve got questions about sex, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d love to help you out.
Q. Can a man masturbating too much make it harder for him to cum during sex?
A. Masturbation can be useful in building sexual stamina, but is unlikely to prevent orgasm in pleasurable, consensual sex with a partner. [January 2018: How much is too much?]
Q. Are there different types of clitoral orgasms?
A. Orgasms are the involuntary spasming of the pelvic muscles. Some are more intense/longer lasting than others, which makes them feel different from one another. [September 2017: To orgasm, or not to orgasm]
Q. Do penis pumps work?
A. Pumps use suction to pull blood into the penis, creating a hard on. They’re great for erections, not so great for permanently enlarging the penis. [June 2016: Erectile dysfunction and improv theatre]
Q. Can I use oils (coconut, canola, peanut, etc) for lube?
A. Oils aren’t safe in the vagina, and they destroy condoms! Try water or silicone based lubes for those things. But they’re great for jerking off. [April 2018: Let’s talk about lube]
Q. How to deal with foreskin?
A. Consensually. Gently. Sensitively. Enthusiastically. Without shame. [January 2018: Will my intact willy give her the willies?]
Q. I get sore easily, but prefer hard sex. Is there something wrong?
A. It’s only wrong if you don’t like it, or it’s not consensual. Are you using enough lube? Probably use more lube. And try new positions. [April 2018: Let’s talk about lube]
Q. Where is that magical g spot in a man? How can I pleasure it?
A. Inside the rectum, on the front wall. Ask first! Insert a toy or finger (with lube), and push gently forward. Thrust (or don’t) as recipient desires. [May 2016: What what (in the butt)]
Q. Is porn unrealistic to young teenagers who are exposed to it, and if so why?
A. Porn is unrealistic to everyone but porn stars. Those folks are Olympians. Remember: porn is for titillation, not education. [September 2016: Feminist porn]
Q. Got advice for beginning butt play?
A. Go slow. Slower than that. Talk a lot. Even more than that. Use twice as much lube as you think you need. Then add more. [November 2017: What what (in the butt), Part Two]
Q. Fisting seems impossible, how does that work?
A. See answer #9. [October 2017: Getting ready for International Fisting Day]
Curious about cunnilingus? Anxious about anal? Do you have questions about queefs or problems with your prostate? Lucky Tomaszek is the education coordinator at The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique, Milwaukee’s only mission-driven, education-focused sex toy store. Send her an email at email@example.com and she’ll get back to you with an answer.