When you wake up on Christmas morning, even if you’re former Saved By The Bell star Dustin Diamond, the thought of allegedly stabbing someone in a Port Washington bar is probably the furthest thing from your mind. But the alarm gives out a warning later that night when you realize that, hey, you really are allegedly stabbing someone in a Port Washington bar on Christmas. Months later, on your way to court, you don’t think you’ll ever make it on time. Still, you grab your legal books, give your lawyer a look, and make it just in time to hear the prosecutors bring up a second allegation: that you threatened to stab another dude that fateful night for refusing your generous offer of a Smirnoff Ice. Will everything be all right? That’s for a trial scheduled for May 27 to decide.

Yes, the wacky case (cue laugh track) of Dustin Diamond allegedly stabbing someone at Port Washington’s Grand Avenue Saloon last Christmas (cue second, louder laugh track) took an even wackier turn today when it was revealed in court that Diamond allegedly threatened to stab someone else earlier in the evening. Why? Because the dude apparently didn’t want to get “iced” by Screech (cue uncontrollable hooting as Slater takes off his shirt). According to the Journal Sentinel:

According to [Ozaukee County District Attorney Adam] Gerol’s motion, Paul Rogers and his brothers were watching a basketball game at The Patio Bar & Grill on Dec. 25 when Diamond, 37, came up to one of the brothers with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and announced, “You’ve been iced. Get on your knees and drink this.”

The man declined but Diamond persisted, until Rogers told him to back off.

A few minutes later, according to Rogers, [Diamond’s fiancée, Amanda] Schutz approached his brother and said, “Just drink it.”

Again the man refused, allegedly prompting Diamond to walk to the middle of the bar and say words to the effect of, “Don’t make me stab someone on Christmas.” Rogers says he and his brothers thought Diamond had a knife, though they did not see one. They decided to leave the bar.

Diamond’s attorney claims the brother who refused to be “iced” concocted the stabbing angle only after seeing the media coverage surrounding the Grand Avenue Saloon incident. No word yet from Becky the Duck, who was “iced”—albeit with oil—in that one episode where they find oil under Bayside.

About The Author

Avatar photo
Co-Founder and Editor

Matt Wild weighs between 140 and 145 pounds. He lives on Milwaukee's east side.