Take yourself back to the summer of 2015. Jurassic World was king of the box office. Mad Men had just finished its seven-season run. A different person was in the White House. Milwaukee Record and Smash Mouth were feuding.
Yes, in case you missed the latter—a watershed moment in the history of the internet if there ever was one—it involved Smash Mouth’s impending show at Summerfest, a piece entitled “23 bread-free Summerfest foods to eat when Smash Mouth plays” (long story), our eventual review of the aforementioned Smash Mouth Summerfest show, Paris Hilton (!), and some Milwaukee Record/Smash Mouth online bickering. “Why can’t we be friends?” we asked Smash Mouth, because that’s a song Smash Mouth covered once.
But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because that same, fateful summer, Smash Mouth guitarist Sean Hurwitz gave a bad Yelp review to Milwaukee dry cleaner Avenue Fabricare (602 N. 5th St.; 414-273-9054). Let’s investigate:
Here’s the full text:
So, here I am, on tour….just need to get my laundry washed.
I paid a LOT of money for them to wash and fold my clothes, and that’s fine, I’m happy to pay the money for the service…but when I got my clothes back, my $30 hat was in there, destroyed!
I mean, a complete total loss. I left it there for the store owner to see.
I don’t even know HOW they stretched it out that bad.
I understand, these things happen.
So I left my info and a claims form to be reimbursed for the destroyed hat.
Never heard back from anyone :/
I’m very disappointed!
Next time, I’ll find another spot to use.
Guitarist for Smash Mouth
Yes, on August 1, 2015, Sean “Guitarist for Smash Mouth” Hurwitz contributed to Avenue Fabricare’s three-star Yelp rating by awarding it a single star. How he restrained himself from making a “Hey now, here’s one star” joke is a mystery for the ages.
Hurwitz’s Yelping career appears to have been short-lived. Beyond his withering appraisal of Avenue Fabricare’s customer service, his only other Yelp reviews are for Dr. Mike’s Natural Health & Chiropractic Center in North Hollywood (“They the THE best in town :-)”) and Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara (“I travel for a living and this was by far one of the best resorts I’ve EVER been to.”)
Hurwitz is currently playing and touring with Enrique Iglesias, and is hopefully having better luck with his $30 hats. [h/t D.D. Driver]