On June 13, 2019, former Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke (remember him?) officially quit Twitter. Sort of. “Folks I am thru with the TOTALITARIAN BIGOTS who run Twitter,” Clarke grunted and then tweeted. “I am moving to the site @Parler. I suggest you do the same. My handle is the same there. @SheriffClarke I refuse to allow ANYBODY to control my speech with there [sic] selective BS rules that have a sliding scale.”

Yes, Clarke, like so many far-right internet trolls who have found themselves at odds with Twitter’s pretty loose conduct policies, has taken his ball and fled to a fringe social media platform that is all about free speech, man. There, he’s free to drool out his usual SMASHMOUTH commentary (read: tired contrarian drivel) on the persecution of Trump supporters, the hypocrisy of those darn libs, the horrors of immigration, the glory of guns, and, of course, AOC.

Or would that be Clarke’s CUTS LIKE A KNIFE commentary? Or his NO HOLDS BARRED commentary? How many ways can one unemployed man (the former FOX News darling lists his current job as president of his own LLC) describe such spicy takes? We checked out’s Clarke’s still-active Twitter account—now just one long, sad ad for his Parler account—to find out.

June 13: “All of my SMASHMOUTH political commentary will be posted on the NEW PLATFORM @Parler.”

July 15: “If you aren’t following me on @Parler you are missing my hard hitting commentary like this that can’t be censored by the totalitarian speech control bigots at Twitter.”

July 16: “Follow my ‘in the face of the left’ commentary on Parler.”

July 18: “For my SMASHMOUTH commentary follow me on PARLER.”

July 22: “If you are not following me on Parler site that is friendly to conservative speech, then you missed this and other hard hitting political commentary that gets undear [sic] the skin of the totalitarian speech control bigots who run Twitter.”

July 23: “For my unvarnished twitter censor proof commentary go to Parler.”

July 27: “For my smashmouth commentary follow me at Parler.”

July 29: “You won’t find my smashmouth commentary on the the [sic] totalitarian site run by Twitter. They can kiss me where the sun don’t shine.”

August 1: “If you aren’t following me at Parler, you’re missing my ‘cuts like a knife’ commentary like this.”

August 8: “If you aren’t following me on Parler, you are missing my SMASHMOUTH political commentary.”

August 10: “If you aren’t following me on Parler, then you missed this. That is where you’ll find my twitter censor proof political commentary.”

August 14: “The TOTALITARIAN BULLIES who run twitter want me to get their permission before posting hard-hitting anti liberal commentary like this. Nope.”

August 14: “You gotta go to Parler to follow me @ SheriffClarke. You’re missing my smashmouth anti Left posts.”

August 23: “Eff Twitter. If you are not following me on Parler at https://par.pw/download then you are missing my explosive posts like this.”

August 26: “If you aren’t following me at Parler then you are missing my smashmouth political commentary.”

August 28: “If you aren’t following me at Parler( download the app) http://par.pw/Download you are missing my no holds barred commentary that the totalitarian speech control bigots running Twitter won’t allow because I slam liberals and do an effective job of it.”

August 30: “Follow me on Parler to get these firebrand posts not allowed by the totalitarian speech control bigots running Twitter.”

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