Some of you are in a serious relationship, or at least involved in a budding romance. Others are happily (or perhaps miserably) single. No matter where your love life lands, the same thing holds abundantly true for everyone: you need to go out and do something—anything!—this Valentine’s weekend.

Whether you’ve simply procrastinated on cementing post-dinner plans for you and that special someone, or you just need to escape the imposing specters of loneliness and self-doubt that loom between you and your exhausted Netlix queue, allow Milwaukee Record to serve as your cherubic guide to celebrating and/or escaping this Hallmark holiday with some suggestions of shit to do this weekend.

Friday, February 12

Godspeed You! Black Emperor + Xylouris White at Turner Hall

Canadian post-rock veterans Godspeed You! Black Emperor don’t exactly swing by Milwaukee often. If your significant other really loved you, they’d let you go to this and push dinner plans to Saturday.

Subjective: A Comedic Showing at Var Gallery & Studios

Milwaukee comedian and Caste Of Killers producer Kaitlin McCarthy‘s “Subjective: A Comedic Showing” returns to Var Gallery. The showcase is an artistic bent on traditional stand-up, but the expression and audience interaction are sure to be offset with plenty of laughs provided by Chicago comics Meredith Kachel and J. Michael Osborne, who will be joined by McCarthy and lauded locals Tyler Menz and Jeff Wheatley-Heckman.

Valentine’s Day Massacre with Tigernite, The Pukes, and TBA at Cactus Club
If you’re one of the hundreds of people who fell in love with Tigernite’s rousing renditions of GGOOLLDD songs at our Local Coverage show last month, you’re going to love the way the band performs its own material. Sure, the Cactus Club stage doesn’t have room for gold-clad background dancers, but the larger-than-life glam-rock outfit will still put on an arena-caliber spectacle, no matter the venue. Local punkers The Pukes will play in support. All-female Ramones cover band Sheena And The Headbangers had to drop off the show due to unforeseen circumstances, but someone great is sure to step in to pinch hit.

All Messed Up VI at Linneman’s Riverwest Inn
Last year’s All Messed Up found the fate of the unique concept show up in the air. Though creator Anthony Dean Schwader has since stepped away from the concert where 64 musicians of all backgrounds and skill levels are randomly arranged into 16 bands, AMU, fortunately, lives on for year six. Don’t miss what could be your one and only shot to see Dude’s Name And The Something Somethings, Makeout Dumpster, and Thomas Nelson’s Extreme Teen Bible add to the rich tradition of one of Milwaukee music’s strangest and best annual events. All Messed Up will also continue on February 13.

Saturday, February 13

The Pines + Buffalo Gospel at Club Garibaldi
If the sweet sounds of Minneapolis roots purveyors The Pines and Club Garibaldi’s award-winning buffalo wings aren’t enough to get you through the door, an all-too rare show from beloved local country outfit Buffalo Gospel surely helps. Cap off your Valentine’s date night out or distract yourself from the looming loneliness during the Hallmark holiday with what could be the best show of the weekend.

Jim Norton at Turner Hall
Over the course of his quarter century comedy career, Jim Norton has never been one to mince words. The brutally honest comedian/radio personality/author’s sexually-charged and Juggalo-approved material is as acerbic as it is utterly hilarious. He returns to town on his “Mouthful Of Shame” tour after a near-three-year absence.

Reel Big Fish + Suburban Legends, and Maxies at The Rave

Remember ska? If you do, you almost assuredly are familiar with the goofy and often-horn-accompanied work of seminal ska purveyors Reel Big Fish. If literally all your other plans fall through and the prospect of staying home alone is just too daunting, kill some time with the novelty who served as the house band for the fictional Milwaukee Beers squad on BASEketball. Have yourself a beer while you’re there.

Le Freak at Company Brewing
Long-running club night Le Freak will head to Company Brewing, where DJ’s Asher Gray, Richard Galling, and Deep Freq will serve up a steady diet of vinyl. Company will dole out free pizza and Shakylegs will supply the visuals.

Avenues + The Peach Kings, The Bangups, and Live Tetherball Tonight at Cactus Club

Milwaukee pop-punkers Avenues are always a good time live. Throw in L.A. garage rock project The Peach Kings, The Bangups from Michigan, and more local support complements of Live Tetherball Tonight, and you have a Cactus Club show well worth the $8 cover. Shit, we’d even pay $9.

Midwest Drag King Show at Riverwest Public House
“Come spend your Valentines with some hot kings,” says the Midwest Drag King show flyer. See Otto T. Dix, Nick Bone-Us, and more strut their stuff on the stage.

The Get Down at Mad Planet
Milwaukee’s longest-running dance party doesn’t stop on account of St. Valentine. Either work up a sweat with a loved one or take those romantic frustrations out on the dance floor with a heavy dose of soul, funk, and Latin jams at Mad Planet.

Sunday, February 14

Henry Rollins at Turner Hall
If there’s a better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than listening to polarizing punk figure Henry Rollins scream shit at you, we’re not aware of it.

When Harry Met Sally… at Avalon Theater
Avalon has decided to help couples and loners alike cap off their Valentine’s Day celebration (or evasion) in a special way. On Sunday, February 14, the theater will offer a 9:30 p.m. screening of 1989 film When Harry Met Sally… The Rob Reiner-directed vehicle was a pioneer in the (since bastardized) romantic comedy sub-genre and helped make a young Meg Ryan a household name. Excluding City Slickers, this classic comedy could very well be the last evidence that Billy Crystal used to be funny. Tickets cost $5 or $15 for a VIP package that comes complete with a ticket, a heart-shaped piece of red velvet cake, and a glass of champagne.