UPDATE: Aw, screw the whole “miserable” thing, because Milwaukee will host the 2020 Democratic National Convention! That’s happy news! In your face, Houston (happy city #106) and Miami (#101)!

The convention is set for July 13-16, 2020. Great job, Milwaukee!

Monday morning, Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett gave an “upbeat” State of the City speech at Fiserv Forum. “Good things are happening in our city. We have to seize the momentum and keep moving Milwaukee forward,” Barrett said. Urban Milwaukee notes that while Barrett was quick to honor the five city employees killed this year, the mayor’s speech “spent much of its time on upbeat topics, including employers moving to the city (Komatsu, HNTB, Michels, Rexnord) and successful city programs.”

But never mind that, because WalletHub is here to remind Milwaukee that it’s a miserable, miserable place to live, work, and play. Today, the personal-finance website released its annual Happiest Cities in America report, and Milwaukee came in at a lowly #147, sandwiched between Fresno, California and Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Detroit, Michigan came in dead last at #182, while Plano, Texas topped the happy-city list at #1. Madison, Wisconsin, meanwhile, came in at a sunny #3.

How did WalletHub land on these scientific results? The site “compared more than 180 of the largest U.S. cities across 31 key indicators of happiness. The data set ranges from depression rate to income-growth rate to average leisure time spent per day.” You can read more about it here, if you can possibly bear to get out of bed and face another day in a city that’s only slightly happier than Akron, Ohio.

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Co-Founder and Editor

Matt Wild weighs between 140 and 145 pounds. He lives on Milwaukee's east side.