Crazy times, eh? With every venue, theater, and public space closed due to COVID-19 concerns, our normally bustling events calendar is pretty barren. So here’s what we’ll be watching, playing, reading, and listening to at home instead. Stay safe, Milwaukee.

MONDAY, MARCH 23

Every Green Bay Packers game from 2009-2019 on NFL Game Pass
Since there are no live sports to watch, the NFL—in a rare instance of not being a terrible league who cares nothing for its fans—recently decided to make every single Packers game from the 2009 season through last season free to watch online via NFL Game Pass. Which Aaaron Rodgers hail mary will you watch first?

TUESDAY, MARCH 24

Doughboys Double on Patreon
If you have an extra $5 a month to spare (or a friend who will give you their password), you can listen to a bonus round of Doughboys’ ongoing Munch Madness: The Tournament Of Chompions – Mac Attack competition. This week’s Double is the “Fat Chance Kitchen,” wherein two Big Mac variants that were left out of the tourney and two McDonald’s menu items Wigey and Spoon saved from the “shit pit” will duke it out for the chance to win the Dave Thomas Cup.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25

Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution on Netflix
Warm your heart with this Barack- and Michelle Obama-produced Netflix original documentary about a summer camp for children with disabilities and the movement for disabled rights in America. The film will be available to stream starting March 25.

THURSDAY, MARCH 26

Superstore on NBC
Sure, it’s not exactly high art, but Superstore is a fun, funny, and surprisingly significant sitcom that’s on its fifth season for a reason. This week, the 19th episode of the NBC comedy’s season includes Carol’s return from suspension, what looks to be a promising B-story featuring Garrett and Mateo, and Jonah being Jonah.

FRIDAY, MARCH 27

Ozark (season 3) on Netflix
After two seasons worth of chaos, danger, and barely holding on, the Byrde family was finally out of the woods and able to go back to their normal life. The only problem is, it appears they don’t want out of the Ozarks anymore. The third season of the critically acclaimed Jason Bateman and Laura Linney crime drama finally drops on March 27. We’ll be watching. You should too!

Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts on Netflix
Another title coming to Netflix this Friday has a local connection. Former Milwaukeean and RuPaul’s Drag Race champion Trixie Mattel’s 2019 documentary, Moving Parts, will make its way to the streaming platform starting Friday.

My First Band: Caleb Westphal (Devils Teeth, 325 consecutive fish frys and counting)
This Friday marks the birthday of Milwaukee Record‘s resident fish fry guru and Devils Teeth sax player Caleb Westphal. As such, we decided to share some takeout fish fry and (from a safe distance) talk to him about his world-record fish fry streak, his unconventional path to landing a spot in his current band, and all the projects that came before. Along the way, Westphal told us about his Christian rock upbringing, the time his parents’ house blew up, and much more. While you wait for this one to come out, you can catch up on My First Band’s 55 other episodes here.

SATURDAY, MARCH 28

Apocalypse Drive-In @ Bounce Milwaukee
Could it be…an actual event? Huh! Beginning this Friday and Saturday—and continuing through mid-April or the end of the world, whichever comes first—Bounce Milwaukee will transform itself into the Apocalypse Drive-In. Want to see both kid- and adult-friendly dystopian films projected on the side of the Bounce Milwaukee building? Want to have food and beverages from Bounce Milwaukee delivered to your vehicle, with all parties respecting the new normal of social distancing? Want the films to be free, and the whole thing to be sponsored by Milwaukee Record? Then you’re in luck! Some more details: you’ll need an FM radio for the sound, parking is very limited, the movies begin at 7-ish (kids) and 9-ish (adults), there’ll be Milwaukee Record swag with your food and beverage deliveries, and the overall production value of the drive-in experience will be, well, not that great. (“We are likely to experience technical difficulties of the sort that you’d expect from trying to project a movie onto the side of a beige building with little actual technical know-how,” says Bounce Milwaukee.) Oh, and remember: you can’t get out of your vehicle. Which means there are no bathrooms. So pee before you arrive. And be sure to arrive early. This weekend: WALL-E (2008) and Mad Max (1979)!

Urban Cat Coalition’s Stay-At-Home Gala
From the Facebook event:

“You are cordially NOT INVITED to attend our gala! STAY HOME, SAVE LIVES! Help save more animals (and humans!) while spending the evening partying with your favorite pet, mix up a cocktail, and throw on some music to dance the night away. Please share your pics!”

Donate a minimum of $20 to be automatically entered into a raffle for a new bidet. Or donate what you can to help community cats who are most at risk.

SUNDAY, MARCH 29

Westworld on HBO
Westworld is back, baby! The futuristic and fatalistic sci-fi drama’s third season continues with episode three, entitled “The Absence Of Field.” Sounds ominous!

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