Everyone knows that American Science & Surplus is a wonderland of weird and wacky stuff, a place for novelty items, bins of ball bearings, and random strips of velcro in case you need random strips of velcro. But did you know that AS&S occasionally orders stuff “too naughty” to display on store shelves, and will occasionally toss that stuff into unmarked boxes and sell them (to folks 18 and older, of course) as “Naughty Mystery Boxes”?

Yep, that’s a thing they do. And last month, when AS&S put together another batch of “Naughty Mystery Boxes,” I raced to the Milwaukee location (6901 W. Oklahoma Ave.) to pick one up. It was totally worth it.

And yes, I bought some bike reflectors, a pocket AM/FM radio, and a few random strips of velcro, too.

Anyway, let’s unbox this thing! You can watch this NSFW video…

…or simply gaze at these NSFW-ish pictures. Or both! Enjoy!

“When someone is flinging it so fast that it leaves you speechless, PUSH THE BUTTON!”

“This fine quality card deck delivers hundreds of electric shocks from a replaceable ‘AAA’ battery. It is truly shocking!”

“Don’t inhale.”

Naughty wine stuff!

“Embarrass your ‘victims’ by placing these fake receipts on their desks or at their house.”

“Perfect queefing is an artform. So be sure to keep practicing!”

Watch the video to hear this thing in action.

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