Back in 2017, I discovered a song called “Milwaukee Poop Poop Poop.” It was about Milwaukee. And poop. (Sample lyric: “Milwaukee! Poop! Poop!”) The 64-second ditty was from City Poop Songs, a 48-track album by noted (?) bathroom artist The Odd Man Who Sings About Poop, Puke And Pee. It went a little something like this:
In reality, The Odd Man Who Sings About Poop, Puke And Pee was/is just one of the many, many pseudonyms of Matt Farley. For the past decade, the Massachusetts-based musician has flooded YouTube, Spotify, and other streaming services with thousands upon thousands of ridiculous/wonderful songs. He’s written songs about poop (“Poop Is Its Own Reward”), songs about farts (“Welcome To Fart Town”), songs about cities (“Milwaukee, Oh Yeah!”), songs about celebrities (“Nicolas Cage Hollywood Legend Fine!”), and songs where he just repeats someone’s name over and over (“The Dylan Song”). It’s a lucrative, full-time gig, netting Farley roughly $60,000 a year.
So yeah, Farley has written a lot of songs. Approximately 20,000 of them. And now he’s written one about me.
Last night, out of the blue, Farley tweeted at me. It was a new song from one of his alter egos, Papa Razzi And The Photogs. The song was called “‘Milwaukee’ Matt Wild Best Song.” I hit play. I was instantly complete.
Here are the lyrics, which have already been inscribed on my tombstone:
Oh yeah Matt Wild
You’re a wild guy
You’re a wonderfully talented and insightful man
You are the editor of Milwaukee Record
You write wonderful articles all the time
I love to read your articles about arts and culture and other stuff too
Good old Matt Wild
You say that you’re an above-average bowler
And I believe you
I believe you
You’re a very nice person
You write wonderful articles about what’s happening in Milwaukee, Wisconsin USA
You are a wonderful man
I respect Matt Wild so very very very very very much
How did Farley end up landing on me? Who knows, though he did a song about Steven Hyden last year, so Midwest writers who used to work for The A.V. Club are clearly on his radar. Then again, everything is on Farley’s radar. Perhaps if you have a Twitter account and/or you’re a person, place, or thing, it’s only a matter of time before Farley writes a song about you, too. What a wonderful world.
(Incidentally, Farley does commissions, though I swear I didn’t pay him to do this.)