Tell me: Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated? ‘Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated. In the bathroom I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain. Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No, no, no…

Oops, sorry, those are lyrics from “Weird Al” Yankovic’s fitfully remembered “A Complicated Song,” not Avril Lavigne‘s RIAA 3x platinum-certified “Complicated.” Our mistake. Anyway, Avril Lavigne will bring her “Greatest Hits” tour to Milwaukee’s American Family Insurance Amphitheater on Monday, September 9. Simple Plan and Girlfriends will play in support.

Tickets go on sale to the general public Friday, January 26 at 10 a.m. at An artist presale is set for January 24 at 10 a.m.

Tell me: Why’d I have to go and get myself decapitated? This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it. Such a drag, now, I can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t snore, I can’t belch, or yodel anymore. Can’t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated. No, no, no… (You see, Weird Al had three unfinished concepts for his “Complicated” parody, so he ended up using all three, one for each verse. The second verse is…oh, never mind.)

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About The Author

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Co-Founder and Editor

Matt Wild weighs between 140 and 145 pounds. He lives on Milwaukee's east side.