When the clock struck midnight almost exactly 105 years ago to the day, the “noble experiment” of Prohibition began. Many towns, cities, and states had dabbled in various dry laws prior to January 16, 1920, but the 18th Amendment and Volstead Act brought forth a complete and Nationwide ban on booze.
It didn’t work.
It turns out people will break the law to drink, or find other ways to alter their minds and bodies. In the spirit of those who sought out something new in those dry times, your buddy Rusty Drinkswell will sample and speak on an array of locally-produced non-alcoholic THC drinks.
Although I am approaching this with very little THC experience in beverage (or any other) form, I do have a breadth of experience tasting various liquids. Therefore, this will be thoughts on the flavors of these beverages with little-to-none about the immediate or delayed effects. I’ll leave that to you all to figure out for yourselves in a nice, safe environment.
A few last things to keep in mind about the beverage category before we begin:
• It’s been debated as to whether hemp-derived THC can potentially cause a failed drug test, so do independent research if this is a concern.
• These beverages being alcohol free will have a much warmer freezing point than beer, especially the sugar free ones. Be cognizant of this when leaving said items in your car or chilling in a freezer.
Eagle Park – Alto Infused Seltzer – Tropical Punch
12 oz serving: 3mg THC – 5mg CBD – 9g Sugar – 45 Calories
We will begin with a trio of offerings from Milwaukee/Muskego-based Eagle Park with a nice and easy entry level 3mg of THC, surrounded by tropical punch flavored liquid. Cracking a cold can open releases an abundant bouquet of juicy tropical fruit. The first sips deliver the same fruit flavors, while simultaneously lacking almost any detectable trace of cannabis flavor. The flavors mellow as consumption continues, but never deteriorates to being overly bland or watery.
This could stand up very well on its own as a low-calorie tropical punch flavored soda with the THC/CBD elements serving as a bonus for those looking for their effect in addition to the refreshment it offers.
Eagle Park – Alto Infused Seltzer – Citrus Splash
12 oz serving: 6mg THC – 10mg CBD – 15g Sugar – 65 Calories
The second sampling of Eagle Park goods brings us a step up in potency and sugar content. Not nearly as aromatic as the tropical punch, the citrus splash has a mild lemony orange aroma. Despite the higher sugar content, the seltzer drinks the same or less sweet than the punch with a mostly orange flavor and just a hint of bitter pith that could just be a bit of cannabis flavor sneaking in.
Not as crushable (to borrow a beer term) as the 3mg tropical punch, this still has a fair amount of flavor, but seems like something to be consumed more for the active ingredients than the flavors surrounding them.
Eagle Park – Alto Infused Seltzer – Mystery Flavor
12 oz serving: 10mg THC – 15mg CBD – 9g Sugar – 45 Calories
I generally don’t like something labeled “mystery flavor” unless you’re able to find out what it is shortly after tasting…or if it comes from the fine folks at Dum-Dums who have a surprisingly cute and valid reason for them. I will not hold that against Alto yet, though, as this is all about being open to new things and experiences.
Much like the others from Eagle Park, this lightly sweetened seltzer is a very easy and palatable drink with a pleasant fizz. The immediate taste sensations of a little limey citrus then blends into a thinner cherry/almond/benzaldehyde type flavor. Overall, it’s pleasant and masks any herbal/grassy/weedy notes from the cannabis. It rounds out a family of offerings from Eagle Park that would be enjoyed by those looking for a balanced, not-too-sweet and not-too-weedy beverage to mellow out with.
Next up are four THC seltzers from Kind Oasis that are conveniently available in a four-pack sampler bundle. Though Kind Oasis products can be found in various places around town or online, it would be well worth your time to visit their retail shop at 2169 N. Farwell Ave. The Kind Oasis staff is (as the name would suggest) kind, knowledgeable, and can guide you through an array of their products, along with other local and national offerings.
Kind Oasis – THC Seltzer – Ice-Ice Berry
12 oz serving: 5mg THC – 29g Sugar – 110 Calories
A nice fizz is followed by a muted citrus aroma upon cracking this one open. The flavors of blue candy, blueberry, lemon, and faint herbs are all present, but not overbearing. By no means thin, this bevy is full-flavored but balanced, making it easier to partake in two or three if one so desired.
Kind Oasis – THC Seltzer – Lemon Fader
12 oz can: 10mg THC – 28g Sugar – 120 Calories
Although less fizzy than the aforementioned Ice-Ice Berry, the Lemon Fader has a similar muted aroma of sugary lemon. The flavor follows suit. It drinks as an easygoing and mildly effervescent lemonade with just the faintest hint of something herbal. Lemon Fader is not too sour, not too sweet, and it’s really easy to forget you are drinking anything other than a nice, cool, refreshing lemonade.
Kind Oasis – THC Seltzer – Cranberry Old-Fashioned
12 oz serving: 2.5mg THC – 34g Sugar – 130 Calories
The can pops open with a good fizz and kinda-sorta really smells like a Wisconsin-style old fashioned. The taste delivers on the name and aroma with a recognizable sugary, bitter, red fruit of a combination. The closest thus far to a canned cocktail, this could hold its own against other RTDs we tested. If you want a non-alcoholic version of an old fashioned and don’t mind a tinge of THC, this might just be what you are looking for.
Kind Oasis – THC Seltzer – Paradise Punch
12 oz can: 10mg THC – 28g Sugar – 110 Calories
The final flavor from Kind Oasis is our second “punch” of the tasting as well. Mild fizz with a very mild aroma gives way to a mild palate of unspecified fruit. The ingredients listed include lemon and blackberry as part of the mix, which is as good of a description as could be made. The persistent Kind Oasis “herbal” note can be found here as well, as with the others, in faint amounts.
Overall the Kind Oasis sampler bundle gives full (but not overpowering) flavors, causal drinkability, and is virtually without any “weed” taste.
Now we come to Third Space and a third approach to THC beverages, as these offerings contain no sugar, no calories, and just a little bit of hops.
Third Space – Head Space THC Sparkling Water – Grapefruit El Dorado (Hops)
12 oz serving: 5mg THC – 0g Sugar – 0 Calories
After a pleasantly fizzy opening of our first can from Third Space, a crisp grapefruit aroma emerges. The flavor starts spot-on with a very recognizable grapefruit flavor that abruptly shifts to an earthy bitterness. I have not had enough experience tasting El Dorado hops or hemp-derived THC on their own to say whether the flavors are competing with or complementing each other, or if one is outright dominant. Whatever it is, the result is an earthy/grassy/bitterness that a regular beer drinker looking for a similar N/A alternative would most likely be drawn to over a sweetened approach.
Third Space – Head Space THC Sparkling Water – Lemon Lime Citra (Hops)
12 oz serving: 10mg THC – 0g Sugar – 0 Calories
The final can in this nine-pack flight opens with a moderate fizz and smells like…the air when Cypress Hill performs at a Hullabalooza show. Perhaps there is a faint bit of citrus as well, but the main aroma is weed. Flavor style is in line with the El Dorado offering with an unapologetic combination of earth, hops, and just a bit of citrus zing that again would be attractive to the hoppy beer drinker.
One fun add-on for the Head Space offerings is the batch numbers on the bottom of the cans allowing users to view information on THC levels from batch to batch.
Overall, a great deal of variety can be found in this small swath of local THC beverages. THC curious folks and seasoned enthusiasts alike should be able to find THC dressed up as any liquid they like, whether that be a soda pop, canned cocktail, hop water, or seltzer. As for the added effects…for this reviewer, it was one of the most relaxing things I’ve written on.