Things are getting weirder than weird as the Republican National Convention invades Milwaukee, so two forlorn Milwaukeeans are choosing to follow Route 66 to remember, to recharge, and to take pilgrimage at the Woody Guthrie and Bob Dylan Centers in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Is this evasive action wise? Will the road lead them to something better than the RNC? They have five days to find out… (Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 5.)

Day 4: Wednesday, July 17, from Carthage, MO to Tulsa, OK

A Picture From Life’s Other Side

This trip is about escaping Milwaukee, but the gravitational pull is too much. Thunderstorms rattle our sleep and lead to a 3 a.m. relocation of the convertible, which I imagine will flood. I fire up the red machine and Woody Guthrie’s voice startles me awake:

Now the first scene is one of two brothers
Their paths a might differently led
One lived in luxury in riches
The other one begged for his bread
One night they might out on the highway
“Your money or life sir,” one cried
Then with his knife took his own brother’s life
That’s a picture from life’s other side

Try going back to sleep in a thunderstorm after you just heard Woody sing those lines. But after an hour, I do, and wake to worse news out of Milwaukee: a man shot dead by police in King Park. Neighboring the school I hold most dear, King Park will be forever reformatted in my mind.

Default to Dignity

Heading south on Route 66 today, amongst the uncomfortable but necessary co-mingling of beliefs, politics, and social standards, I try to default to dignity. On the road, I flinch at my fellow man, projecting upon him the horrors I imagine he wants to inflict upon me for being who I am. Go ahead and call that paranoia, but it’s a real feeling and I believe many of us reverberate an assumed distrust of each other that careens endlessly in the space we’re afraid to share.

Route 66 snakes along a preposterously Red path and Barry and I are outliers, but we’re not out lying. We’re searching for the Hornet Spooklight, a “mysterious light of unknown origin.” The orange glow appears and disappears in the sky of Hornet, Missouri without warning; it’s there, then it’s not. An ominous glow shines among Americans who share fewer and fewer social values, the light of warning strobes continuously throughout our land. It’s foolish, but we’re out here on Route 66 looking for the brief moment between flashes in which we’re aware of each other, aware that we love our families, hopeful that we prefer to do no harm…

New Credo

Kansas greets us with a “Don’t tread on me” sign, to which I reply, after surveying the dilapidated Main Street, “You’re treading on yourself just fine.”

There is no better credo than Do No Harm. If this became the credo of this country instead of tired nonsense like “Don’t tread on me,” or “Give us your tired,” or “Shock and awe,” or the most tired nonsense of “Making America Great Again,” then and perhaps only then would we as a country have some low evening sparkle of greatness.

Despite consistent destitution, we reach Riverton, Kansas, and purchase deli sandwiches from a man whose family emigrated from Sweden to America in 1869. As he rings up our goods he says:

“You can always tell a Swede but you can’t tell a Swede much.”

We exit to a sign that says so much without having to say too much:

Our road narrows further this afternoon when I get news that our friend can no longer host us in Tulsa. She quickly finds us safe harbor with her wonderful mother and father, who welcome us with a home-grilled dinner and some much needed conversation with someone who isn’t Barry (or me). They understand our mission and have plenty of good advice for our Tulsa two-step…thanks to good friends and good families, we eat and sleep among even better humans tonight.

Before you get the wrong impression that I’ve gone soft overnight, remember: We’re On The Run From RNC. And as much as I believe in narrowing the gulf between humans of all kinds, we cannot possibly allow the 2024 RNC to escape Milwaukee unscathed by parody. As your attorney, I advise you to always bring a folk singer when you hit the road. And I’ve got one of Milwaukee’s best: Here’s Barry’s “RNC In MKE” set to Woody Guthrie’s “Do Re Mi”:

Verse 1:

Lots of folks in MAGA hats
Leavin their upscale DC flats
Bringing fat fistfulls of cash to Milwaukee, USA
The locals clap, politely cheer Inflate balloons and volunteer
To make em feel we’re glad they’re here
And that our city needs the fame
Cuz after all those years of running us down.
They’re tellin’ us that everything’s different now

Ref 1:

And if you ain’t here for the RNC, folks
If you ain’t here for the RNC
You better go back to snooty California
Cuz Milwaukee is our favorite place to be!
Don’t try to put two and two together
Or consider what we’ve said previously
You know it ain’t a lie:
Milwaukee finally has arrived,
And it’s all thanks to the RNC!

Verse 2:

Corruption, voter fraud ‘n’ crime
Heard it all a thousand times
But they sayin’ now’s our biggest chance
To put Milwaukee on the map
Share the spotlight with the patriots
Who want autocracy with no regrets
We The People—’cept for immigrants
And vermin Democrats
Milwaukee, we thank you for all the fun
Now bow before our God and all our Guns

Ref 2:

Ain’t if you ain’t here for the RNC, boys
If you ain’t here for the RNC
You better go back to Marxist Massachusetts
Cause Milwaukee is our favorite place to be!
Don’t try to put two and two together
Or consider what we’ve done previously
The breaking news is pending:
Milwaukee finally is trending,
And it’s all thanks to the RNC!
You know it ain’t a joke
Milwaukee won the war on woke
And it’s all thanks to the RNC!