Milwaukee County’s celebrated park system has been called an “emerald necklace”—a sea of sparkling green that enriches and nourishes the community it surrounds. Looked at another way, however, and that necklace becomes a green-hued leash, used by the Illuminati and the power elite to carry out their nefarious plans and exert control over the unwitting dupes that so foolishly use the parks to walk their dogs, fly their kites, and occasionally enjoy a pop-up beer garden. Wake up, sheeple.

At least that’s the logic used in a video that exposes Milwaukee’s Veterans Park for what it really is: an occult mating-ritual site dedicated to the “phallic of Osiris.” It seems that Kristan T. Harris of Milwaukee’s American Intelligence Report (“Intelligent news for intelligent people”) was recently driving past the lakeshore park when he spied an “obelisk” that set his Spidey sense to full-on “occultic symbolism.” In the video, Harris infiltrates the public park and trains his skeptical eye on the three granite columns of the Southeastern Wisconsin Vietnam Veterans Memorial. While one might assume those three columns pay tribute to, say, those who were killed in action in Vietnam, those who remain MIA/POW, and those who returned home, Harris has a different theory:

“What you see in front of you is an obelisk. The obelisk represents the phallic of Osiris, or of Nimrod, whatever you decide it might be. What’s interesting is it seems to have calendar stones all around it, and a reflective pond behind it. The reason why it is there is the pond will reflect the moon—the moon is representative of Isis or Semiramis—and when the obelisk and the moon reflect on the water, they touch, and this is considered a mating ritual of the phallic of Osiris and Isis, or Nimrod the Sun God, and Semiramis the Moon God.”

Harris goes on to ponder the meaning of those pesky “calendar stones” surrounding the memorial (granite posts symbolizing the 11 officially recognized years of the Vietnam War) and the “reflective pond” behind it (a pond).

“The symbolism is all there, and my guess is whoever put this here, knew all about it and had it aligned so,” Harris concludes, before speculating that visitors of the Milwaukee Art Museum and the folks living in the nearby high rises use their sweet views to oversee said mating rituals. Open your eyes below.