On May 13, 2014, we celebrated our 100th post with 100 highly specific things to do in the greatest city on Earth: Milwaukee. Now, just over a month later, we’ve arrived at our 200th post, which means it’s time for 100 MORE things to do in Milwaukee! How many have YOU tried?
1. Enjoy a great local band
2. Watch a local sporting event
3. Close a local bar
4. Walk downtown
5. Eat something
6. Ponder the mysteries of an infinite universe with no middle, no circumference, and no beginning
7. Check your tire pressure
8. Box up your old DVDs
9. Get offended on the Internet
10. Send a postcard to a friend
11. Raise on the flop, even if that asshole Phil Hellmuth thinks it’s a bad move
12. Invest in some sensible slacks and/or pumps
13. Chew bubblegum
14. Kick ass
15. Don’t forget your niece’s birthday!
16. When shaking hands with somebody, weird them out by doing that thing where you wiggle your middle finger
17. Finally learn how to play the banjo
18. Where’s that damn staple remover?
19. Meet someone new
20. Go grocery shopping
21. Adopt a pet
22. Beat the first Super Mario Bros. without using any of the warp zones
23. Read a local publication
24. Pick up some local litter
25. Become an organ donor
27. Ask fun questions in your social media posts in order to engage your audience. (Thank you for attending today’s “What Can Social Media Do For YOUR Brand?” seminar! That’ll be $1,000, please.)
28. Grill out
29. Crack a cold one
30. Dance! Dance! Dance!
31. Prove you’re a ’90s kid by taking this Sandlot quiz
32. In the fall, do that thing where you press a leaf inside a thick book
33. Stay out late with friends
34. Take a cab
35. No, use Uber
36. Scratch that. Lyft.
38. Remember Spuds MacKenzie?
40. Disrupt something
42. Hug it out
43. Go nuts with the sunblock
44. Don’t bother packing your stuff, because mom’s going to do it anyway. You’re what the French call “les incompetents.”
45. Become ordained through the first Universal Life Church of Modesto, California
46. Trivia night?
47. Vacuum your car
48. Drop in at your old workplace and see what those clowns are up to
49. Politely inform the grown-ass dipshit riding his bike to get the fuck off the sidewalk
50. If you want to continue down the cave, turn to page 21. If you want to use the time machine to go back to the Middle Ages, turn to page 47.
51. Take a photo of an interesting building
52. Tidy up
53. Rob a bank
54. Make some popcorn and have a fun night in
55. Power walk
56. Grab something quick to eat at the airport
57. Just throw away those old CD-Rs already
58. Patronize a local business
59. Learn how to score a bowling game by hand
60. Make dumb soccer jokes on Twitter and giggle when everyone gets super pissed
61. Try to figure out if Dick Van Dyke was just really bad at doing a Cockney accent in Mary Poppins, or if he was doing it on purpose
62. Enjoy a modern dance recital
63. Tip generously
64. Game night!
65. Explain game rules to friends
66. Never mind, you’ll learn as you go
67. Empty your spam folder
68. Hijack a dopey hashtag
69. Stop it
70. Try to find an original VHS dub of Akira, because that new one they have on DVD is complete garbage
71. Order Chinese
72. Enjoy a drink on a sidewalk patio
73. You gotta be here for the vibe!
74. Take a train
75. Just give me some kind of sign, girl
76. Eat your own weight in Kit Kats
78. Learn sign language
79. Shop at a local mall
80. Volunteer at a local church
81. Hit a bigfoot with your car and take it home to live with you, like in Harry And The Hendersons
83. Try to get your friends into Rock Band again, because you must have spent $500 on all that shit
84. Bake something
85. Invent software that blocks any Facebook post that begins with “Last night I had a dream…” Become a billionaire.
87. Reupholster a couch
88. Don’t forget to tune in to American Ninja Warrior, Mondays at 9/8 CT on NBC
89. Whatever you do, don’t…fall…asleep
90. Donate to charity
91. Ride one of those bicycle bars, I guess
92. Stay cool
93. Buy a new mattress
94. Eat at a local deli
95. Give the cat some wet food
96. Change a light bulb
97. Say it loud, say it clear, you can listen as well as you hear
98. Get lucky
100. When discussing Milwaukee history with friends or coworkers, be sure to get permission from John Gurda. If you don’t, he’ll break into your apartment in the middle of the night and bust your goddamn kneecaps.