Lucky Tomaszek is the education coordinator at The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique, Milwaukee’s only mission-driven, education-focused sex toy store. This week’s topic: sploshing.
Dear MKE Sex,
Here we are between two big feasting holidays, and for the third year in a row I’m having trouble concentrating at the dinner table. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or maybe nothing’s wrong with me—you be the judge. I’ll be in the middle of a big, festive meal with my family and all I can think about is profane ways to play with my food. These fantasies go way beyond a can of Reddi-Wip (though that sounds fun, too). I want to smear mashed potatoes on my girlfriend. I want her to pour cranberry sauce down my back. You get the idea. I get so turned on imagining the different scenarios! Is this food fascination a thing? Or am I just out of my mind?
Your food fascination is definitely a thing! Using food during sex is often referred to as sploshing, and it’s one form of Wet and Messy play. While there isn’t really reliable data to tell us how many people enjoy a good splosh, you can be assured that there are many folks out there whose interest in food goes way beyond the culinary.
It’s also safe to say that your interest in sploshing doesn’t mean that you’re abnormal at all. The sensations and textures of different foods can feel very sensual and even erotic. Some people like the feeling of being sticky or slippery or warm or cold—there are so many ways that different foods can feel on your body. And most of those tactile experiences are difficult to achieve without using food.
There are a wide range of experiences within the world of sploshing, and a lot of motivations for doing it. If you grew up in a household with strict rules about behavior at the table, it can be thrilling to play with your food after a childhood of being told not to. It can be exciting to put food on your lover and lick or eat it off of their body. Some folks share deep intimacy this way, feeling a sense of connection that goes beyond what they usually experience during either simply having sex or eating a meal with their partner. For other people sploshing is part of a BDSM scene, with one partner “forcing” the other to get “dirty” or perform “filthy” acts with food. (This is all consensual and agreed upon ahead of time by both partners, of course.) Humiliation is often part of this type of kinky play, with the dominant partner verbally insulting the submissive. And there are a lot of types of sploshing, too! Your fantasies may be completely different than any of these, and that’s okay! Humans are creative, inventive animals, and we usually figure out our own ways to play.
If you and your partner decide to try sploshing, there are some practical things to consider:
• Communicate your boundaries with each other. Some people enjoy food all over their face while others do not. Is it okay to get your clothes dirty or would you rather start out naked? Do you want to consume food off of each other’s bodies, or are you more interested in just playing with it?
• Discuss food allergies with your partner before you start! Anaphylaxis is not a fun way to end your evening.
• Check the temperature of the food. You don’t want it to be so hot or cold that it can cause injury.
• Similarly, you don’t want to play with foods that are very spicy or very acidic. No matter how careful you are, there’s a chance the food can end up in someone’s eyes or other very sensitive parts.
• Be careful with sweet foods around the vagina. All the classic sexy foods you mentioned above (whipped cream, chocolate sauce, honey, and more) can cause yeast infections. And other foods can be very irritating in the vagina as well. If you’re going to try penetration with a piece of food, consider putting a condom on it before you start.
• Think about how you’ll protect your surfaces. You have a lot of options. Some of the standard ones include items like waterproof sheets, mattress covers, or blankets in addition to tarps, shower curtains, chux underpads, and plastic sheeting.
• Remember to leave time for clean up! You’ll want to dispose of any refuse, run a load of laundry, and take a good shower when you’re done sploshing.
Curious about cunnilingus? Anxious about anal? Do you have questions about queefs or problems with your prostate? Lucky Tomaszek is the education coordinator at The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique, Milwaukee’s only mission-driven, education-focused sex toy store. Send her an email at [email protected] and she’ll get back to you with an answer.