Yesterday, the Brett Hundley-led Green Bay Packers narrowly edged out Mitchell Trubisky’s Chicago Bears in a rainy affair at Soldier Field. The ugly 23-16 win secured a season sweep for Green Bay in the longtime division rivalry and, barring an unlikely postseason meeting between the two less-than-sterling squads, the final time “Da Bears Still Suck” will have reason to be played at Wisconsin bars and homesteads this year. At this point, the Happy Schnapps Combo song has become an unofficial anthem since Mishicot-based polka band released it in the early ’90s.
While “Da Bears Still Suck” was one of the first (and one of the best) Green Bay-inspired novelty songs ever written, there are literally dozens of other tribute compositions, divisional diss tracks, and Packers parodies that have come out in the past 25 years. In the seasons since that song came out, Packer fans have fashioned an ultra-specific genre of songs that honor players, belittle other teams, and make embarrassing musical reference to Wisconsin’s heavy accent and our meat- and cheese-loving tendencies. To be clear, there’s no such thing as a good Packers novelty song, but these 23 are (gulp) da best of da wurst.
23. “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Packer” by Lambo Boys
It’s kind of like when Geto Boys’ “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta” was in Office Space, except without the irony that made it even remotely funny.
22. “Packer Rock Anthem” by Lucas Cates and Danielle Robay
21. “Feelin So Fly Like A Cheesehead” by Sean Smart, Sleepy, and Alexandria
Way back in 2010, Far East Movement’s “Like A G6” was climbing the charts and the Green And Gold was on its way to a Super Bowl win. That same year, Higher Education Presents used the one and only hit from Far East Movement as the foundation for their one and only hit, “Feelin So Fly Like A Cheesehead.” The song and video have a higher production value and cultural relevance than most others on this list, but the lines about Clay Matthews and drinking Miller reinforce the, ahem, cheesy components of this parody.
20. “Da Packer Drinkin’ Song” by Da Wurst Band In Da World
Da Wurst Band In Da World’s vast discography features a number of abrasive songs with graphic messages directed at other teams. Though agro anthems like “Hey! (The Bears Suck),” “Dallas Sucks” and “The ViQueens Just Plain Suck” don’t help refute the project’s “wurst band” claim, “Da Packer Drinkin’ Song” is okay.
19. “We Love The Green And Gold” by Pat McCurdy
“I like my wife / she’s okay” singer and regional punchline Pat McCurdy says at the outset of “We Love The Green And Gold,” his Packers companion to “Sex And Beer.” The rowdy number is a shockingly not-that-bad song (at least by McCurdy/Packers novelty standards) and features an inexplicable cameo from none other than Larry The Cable Guy.
18. “Teach Me How To Raji” by Scketch Madison
Both “Teach Me How To Dougie” and B.J. Raji didn’t stick around as long as we would’ve liked. However, Cali Swag District’s one hit and the Packers defensive tackle (and occasional running back) had enough overlap in relevance in early 2011 to inspire this hokey tribute to the dancing DT. Raji might be gone, but we’ll always have “Teach Me How To Raji.”
17. “Packer Backer” by Olivia Hotchkiss
If you like Lorde and the Packers, Olivia Hotchkiss has just the thing for you. Her “Packer Backer” is a parody of “Royals,” which brought Hotchkiss to a Lambeau Field tailgate to film a video with a level of execution that’s far better than a song with lyrics like “We don’t care / ‘Cuz we’re not losing like the Vikings and Bears” deserves.
16. “Packer Face” by Cheeseheads With Attitude
If you’re a Wisconsin musician who’s perpetually dealing with apathetic audiences at sparsely-attended shows you’ve booked in effort to try and sell what’s left of those 250 records you pressed two years ago, try not to think about how Cheeseheads With Attitude (aka C.W.A.) have sold more than 50,000 albums since bursting onto the scene with 1996’s Straight Outta Wisconsin.
Though the Oshkosh-born parody band bowed out around the same time Mike Holmgren and Reggie White were leaving Green Bay near the turn of the century, C.W.A. resurfaced after the Pack’s 2010 title season with a new batch of football-focused recordings. “Packer Face” is the first single from that album. Eat your heart out, Gaga.
15. “C Is For Cowboys” by Happy Schnapps Combo
Yes, the aforementioned Schnappers actually have a few contributions on this list. The worst of the band’s holy trinity of NFC diss tracks is “C Is For Cowboys,” which points out that both Cowboys and crap begin with the letter C.
14. “Talkin’ Packers With Me” by Cheeseheads With Attitude
Get ready to see lots of C.W.A. on this list. The second installment is this parody of Poison’s “Talk Dirty To Me,” that’s full of nods to Piggly Wiggly, fishing, and the almighty Packers.
13. “Run The Table” by Wisco Kidz
Who could forget when Aaron Rodgers predicted the 4-6 Packers would “run the table” and make the playoffs last season? As that lofty promise was coming true, California (by way of Wisconsin) rap duo Wisco Kidz were putting some skin in the game as well when they wrote, recorded, and released a song called “Run The Table” before the six-game streak came to fruition. Of course, a loss in the NFC Championship rendered Rodgers’ bold prediction and this Wisco Kidz song meaningless by late January, but both will live on with this timely original cut.
12. “We’re The Minnesota Vikings” by Happy Schnapps Combo
Here’s the second (and second best) Happy Schnapps song about a Packers rival. With lyrical jabs directed at the Metrodome (aka “Da Humpty Dump”) and Minnesota’s four Super Bowl losses, it’s a wholesome polka takedown of our hapless neighbor to the west.
11. “Sixteen Games” by Cheeseheads With Attitude
The NFL season is a grind, and this C.W.A. homage to “16 Tons” illustrates as much…and tosses in a bunch of cheese mentions of some reason.
10. “Packarena” by Dan & Jane
In 1996, when the Packers were heading to their first Super Bowl in almost 30 years, fan interest was at an all-time high. Of course, local radio got in on the fun of the title run, too. Dan & Jane of 99.1 WMYX-FM notoriety recorded the regional take on Los Del Rio’s “La Macarena” called, you guessed it, “Packarena.” The song and the following season’s Spice Girls-inspired “Packer Wannabe” are both funny reminders of an embarrassing time in music and a great era of Packers football. Unfortunately, the song didn’t exactly age well…especially the part about Mark Chmura. Yikes!
There’s also another (much worse) version that Z100 put out in 1996 that claims to be “the original Packarena.” Yes, Wisconsin has two football-related “Macarena” parodies. Aren’t you proud?
9. “Aaron Rodgers Rock & Roll” by Ed Lemberger
After recording his debut Packers song in 1993 (more on that later), Eddy J. Lemberger sat back and let the cash roll in…the kind of money that can buy a guy beige blinds, a stereo, and baffling decorative busts. However, before the storied 2010 season, Lemberger picked up the guitar once again to pay tribute to “[his] Green Bay Pack’s heart and soul,” Aaron Rodgers. The song put one of the pioneers of Packers music back on the map…and was made fun of by Jim Rome a bunch.
8. “Back To The Super Bowl” by Cheeseheads With Attitude
“Back To The Super Bowl” kind of sounds like Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” but has lyrics about the Packers. You get the idea, right?
7. “I Love My Green Bay Packers” by Ed Lemberger
In September of 1993, Lemberger was “blessed” to have the words and notes of “I Love My Green Bay Packers” come to him or, as he puts it, “happen right through” him. Since his first and finest song was conceived through divine intervention, Lemberger has played his hammy hymn to “literally thousands of people” on Packer fan tours and YouTube.
6. “We Go Green Bay” by Bill Etten & The Heritage Band
This twangy country number by Bill Etten and his Heritage Band thoroughly details everything you can do in Green Bay: Go to Shopko, drink cheap beer, go see the Packers, shout “hooray!” when they score touchdowns. That’s pretty much it.
5. “Go You Packers Go” by The Wizenheimers
What’s to say? This song of football-fueled revelry is upbeat, fun, and catchy.
4. “Jump In The Stands” by Robert Brooks
There are a lot of “musicians” on this list, but only one of them was actually a Packers player. Though he didn’t invent the Lambeau Leap, Packers wideout Robert Brooks popularized the now-ubiquitous touchdown celebration in the mid-’90s—so much so that he went into the studio to record a song about it called “Jump In The Stands.” The smooth R&B effort finds Brooks explaining the origin of the Leap, praising God, and cruising around Green Bay in a convertible with teammates Gilbert Brown and Aaron Taylor. It’s cheesy, but dammit if this song’s hook isn’t catchy as hell.
3. “Green & Yellow” by Lil Wayne
Weezy and Will Ferrell are probably the two most famous Packer Backers out there. The former made his allegiance known to the world in early 2011, just before Green Bay took on Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl. Using rapper and Steeler fan Wiz Khalifa’s “Black & Yellow” as a jumping off point, Lil Wayne roasts Pittsburgh and roots on the Packers. Out of context, its a perfectly fine song with some dated player references, but in January of 2011, it was a special part of an unforgettable season.
2. “I’m A Cheesehead Baby” by Cheeseheads With Attitude
The final C.W.A. contribution to the list is the group’s finest by far. The debut single does its best to adapt Beck’s “Loser” with verses about the “The Pride Of Wisconsin’s” ability to always look good on Monday Night Football, make defenses choke…and puke in the bleachers.
1. “Da Bears Still Suck” by Happy Schnapps Combo
Though many have tried, nobody can top “Da Bears Still Suck.” Other than having to ignore that “How could you ever love a team with Jim McMahon?” line during the single season the punky QB was a Packers backup, the song has pretty much remained accurate in the quarter-century the classic has existed. The Bears do suck. They really, really, really, really, really, really suck. This song doesn’t.