This Saturday, men, women, and children of all ages will take to the Wisconsin woods for the beginning of the state’s annual nine-day gun deer season. It’s a time-honored tradition that combines the magic of the outdoors with the magic of six people stuffed into a cabin for a weekend, and the love of nature with the love of killing “harvesting” some of that nature. In the end, roughly 200,000 deer will fall. One billion dollars will be pumped into Wisconsin’s economy. “Up north” bars will be packed. An untold number of pull-tabs will be pulled. Memories will be made. Blaze orange will be worn.
And, if past videos are to be believed, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker will be out there, too, shivering in a tree stand with the rest of us, dreaming of the elusive turdy-point buck (or an antlerless deer, if he’s in the right zone). Anyway, here’s an important ranking of some of those “Welcome to deer season” videos, most of them filmed with former Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources Secretary (and current Trump appointee) Cathy Stepp. All of them, it should be noted, feature suspiciously pristine blaze orange getups.
Walker: “It’s never been easier to register your deeeer! All you need is a phone, a smartphone, or a computer.”
Walker: “Wiscaaaansin is one of the finest places to hunt in the world. Enjoy your time in the outdoors with family and friends. Good luck, and as always, be safe.”
Walker: “Have fuuuun!” Stepp: “And remember, be safe out there!”
“We’ve cut down on what hunters have to carry into the field. All you need is your carcass tags, and your conservation card or valid ID!”
Stepp: “Hey, Governor. Have I told you the story of my very first buck from last year?” Walker: “Uh, yes, yes you have.”
Bonus: A few “Thanks for a great deer season” videos, which were clearly filmed the same day as the “Welcome to deer season” videos.