As a defining title of its era, NFL Blitz was ported from the arcade to home consoles in September of…actually, you know what? We need to address a few past failures before tackling this one.
This past spring, we thought we might be able to nudge the Milwaukee Brewers into the win column by virtue of video games with Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. Though our 16-bit Brewers bested the Yankees 2-1 in our play-through, the current, human Brew Crew fell to the Bronx Bombers 4-2 on Opening Day.
We shook it off. A few weeks later, the Bucks drew the Pacers in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. So, we blew dust out of an old copy of NBA Jam and grabbed a controller, because who doesn’t like a redemption story? Tyrese Haliburton and the Indiana Pacers, that’s who. Needing only five games, the Pacers granted the Bucks an early summer vacation. Our Jam duo had prevailed in a blowout, but for some confounding reason, we still weren’t getting a one-to-one conversion of mid-’90s gaming to 2025 human sports.
With Week 1 on the NFL slate looming, we had doubts about the effectiveness of the “Nick Plays” series. Then it occurred to us: we were using a Super Nintendo, a tool we’ve owned since the first Clinton administration. The time had come to upgrade. We demanded a game with fewer guys that had been dead for decades, so we got a more modern system in the form of the Nintendo 64, a tool from Bill Clinton’s second term.
Having said all that, NFL Blitz was a defining title of the late ’90s, a time of Jerry Springer spats and Stone Cold Stunners. It stands as a delightfully trashy cross between Monday Night Football and Monday Night Raw. It’s also fast-paced, with two-minute quarters, which means that if we err again in syncing wins, at least we’ve only wasted eight minutes of your time.
Fortune was on our side when it came to the Packers’ schedule. Their first opponent in 2025 is the same as it was in 1998’s Blitz: the Lions. Sure, the players might be different. In fact, Jordan Love’s mom was pregnant with him when this banger hit home consoles. The rules might be different, as well. Today, it’s frowned upon to tackle-suplex someone to the ground, then finish him off with a Hulk Hogan Leg Drop. But the schedule? Well, it’s nothing short of a charming act of fate that lets us know we’re on the right track this time.
This season opener boasted four eventual Pro Football Hall of Famers: Brett Favre, Reggie White, and LeRoy Butler of Green Bay, and Detroit’s iconic running back Barry Sanders. The Pack had the edge where HOFers were concerned, but would that translate to victory for us? Hey. That’s why we play the game.
Our guy Dorsey Levens got things rolling with a 40-yard kickoff return to midfield. Two positive plays later, we flexed our trick play muscles to open scoring. Favre pitched the ball to Derrick Mayes, who teased an outside run, only to fire a strike over the middle to Levens for a touchdown and a 7-0 Packers lead. The Lions and star runner Barry Sanders made some noise on the next drive, but the Packers’ D buckled down with back-to-back sacks. We forced a punt and, just like that, we had possession to start the second quarter.
Blowouts in Blitz are basically unheard of. The game engine is loath to let one team lead or trail by two scores, so most contests go down to the wire. It’s a feature known as “rubberbanding” to gamers. The roar of the Lions’ defense was angry on our second quarter-starting drive, my friends. Favre ate shit on three straight malicious sacks, perhaps as karma for all that shady stuff he allegedly did.
Detroit nearly took the ensuing punt return to the house. Before long, they clapped back with a trick play of their own. Quarterback Scott Mitchell slung a screen to wideout Herman Moore, who threw a dart into the end zone to Johnny Morton that threaded the needle between two defenders. Bummer, but not shocking. Tie game. The division rivals traded field goals before the end of the half. It was 10-10 entering the third quarter.
Detroit’s opening drive of the half fizzled thanks to a Santana Dotson sack on third down. They punted. We soon capitalized when Favre found Mayes, who found Levens on a deep ball down the opposite sideline. (By the way, we’re happy for Mayes balling out here, but no one knows why he made the Blitz roster over Antonio Freeman. Free had racked up 1,243 receiving yards and 12 touchdowns in the previous season, whereas Mayes was a second-round pick out of Notre Dame who never quite made his mark in the pros. Freeman snubbed in favor of Mayes might be the most irrational thing in a very irrational game, but we digress.) Packers 17, Lions 10.
Our defense bent without breaking on Detroit’s next scoring drive, giving up a field goal in the red zone. 17-13, Pack. The fourth quarter began with an atrocity of justice. Wanting to get No. 87 more involved in the offense, we dialed up a WR Reverse to Robert Brooks. In a play that has never happened before in this universe or a parallel one, a Lions D-lineman missile-launched himself between Favre and Brooks to cause a turnover. Somehow the Old Gunslinger was intercepted on a wide receiver reverse. Two plays later, the Lions scored a touchdown, obviously. Barry Sanders was becoming a problem. 20-17, Lions. 1:27 on the clock in the fourth quarter.
Always one to redeem himself (until massively screwing up again, thus blurring the line between redemption and vicious-cycle in perpetuity), Brett Favre marched the offense down the field. A touchdown seemed inevitable. And it was. In the huddle, Gunslinger called Da Bomb, the most famous play in Blitz. He zipped a fastball to Levens on a slant for a TD. 24-20, Pack. Thirty seconds to go.
The Blitz computer refused to peace out quietly. That snotty MF’er just had to rage, rage against the dying of the light. Barry continued his problematic ways. With time running low, LeRoy Butler dove for Scott Mitchell’s feet. He missed a sack by a pixel. Instead, the Lions QB launched a strike to Barry cutting over the middle. Touchdown, Detroit. Lions 27, Packers 24 with nine seconds left.
This was a fine time to dwell on the subject of heartbreak. Still, with the aid of mental gymnastics, we saw that perhaps our heartbreak meant triumph for the actual Packers in this crazy, effed up 2025 world. Levens’ kickoff return got stymied. Four seconds left. Enough for one play. Down three points. Yuck. We were forlorn, verging on hopeless. Predictable as it was, we had to select Da Bomb.
Mayes, Levens, and Brooks lined up to the right of Favre, in the shotgun. Levens was to run a slant, Mayes was to run a deep post, and Brooks was running a go route deep. We’d need great protection, a perfect throw, single coverage, and a little luck to make this miracle happen. Gulp. One more thing: We were on our own 31-yard line. That meant we could only be saved by a touchdown throw of 69 yards. Nice.
Skip to 12 minutes in the video to watch Favre-to-Brooks for 69 nice, game-winning yards into the end zone. Packers 30, Lions 27. Final. Rumor has it, Robert Brooks is still dancing in celebration. We know we are. Go Pack Go.