Some Milwaukee things come and go, while some become icons. Mandatory Milwaukee is all about the latter. This week: owning way too many glasses from Milwaukee County Parks beer gardens.
In previous Mandatory Milwaukee installments, we’ve raved about Milwaukee County Parks in general and voiced our appreciation for the Parks system’s numerous and outstanding beer gardens. This time around, I’ll get even more specific with my County Parks-pointed love. Though this runs the risk of being something that’s unique to me, I sincerely doubt that will be the case.
Okay, so is it just me, or do you also own a ton of Milwaukee County Parks glasses? I can’t be the only one who has accumulated a sizable collection of glassware emblazoned with the County Parks logo and/or specific park names that I’ve obtained from previous beer garden visits. Right? RIGHT?!
Currently, about half of the pint glasses in my home are from Milwaukee County Parks visits, and 100% of the pints at Milwaukee Record headquarters were acquired by the very same means. Between those pints, a pair of gigantic Parks-promoting beer steins, a Parks wine glass, and even a Pours For Parks sampling glass, I’m looking at a good 15 drinking vessels with some type of Milwaukee County Parks affiliation in my possession. How did this happen to me? Assuming you’re reading this because you also have a few Parks glasses of your own, how did this happen to you?
Of course, the exact reasons for County Parks glassware stockpiling vary from person to person, but I have some theories to explain this distinctly Milwaukee behavior.
They’re free (sort of)
Okay, so the glass isn’t free-free, but if you don’t bring your own Milwaukee County Parks pint or stein from home, you get a glass with your first drink purchase and it’s factored into the cost. Then it’s all yours to keep, to donate to a thrift store the next time you move, or—as I’ve made a habit of doing in recent beer garden visits—to covertly bring back to the counter on your way out when no employees are looking (or to sheepishly explain “I already have too many. Sorry!” as you drop it off when an employee is looking).
They save you money
Once you have a Milwaukee County Parks glass in your possession, the savings begins. When bringing your glass to the counter, every subsequent round is discounted. With regular beer garden visits, the amount you save will really begin to add up by the time winter comes and these local drinking spaces go into hibernation for a few months.
You’re going to want to keep extras around
You’d be hard-pressed to find a better place to bring out-of-town visitors coming here in summertime than one of metro Milwaukee’s many beautiful beer gardens. If you plan ahead and keep some extra glasses procured from prior beer garden stops, your friends and loved ones will be able to save a little money to spend on, like, cheese curds or a Milwaukee Record shirt or something.
You’ve been offered freebies
Many of those visitors I mentioned aren’t going to want to pack a fragile piece of glassware with a little beer residue in the bottom in their luggage when their time in Milwaukee is through. Others will see no need to immortalize that afternoon they had a Miller High Life with their former college roommate at Whitnall Park. Regardless of the reason, you’ve likely been offered their glass as you part ways. Say “sure” a few times and you’re suddenly an accidental pint glass collector and it’s too late to go back.
You’re going to forget to bring your glass sometimes
Have you ever been walking or driving around in summer and you decide to make an impromptu stop at a beer garden for a drink or two? Have you hatched a plan with friends on short notice to meet at a beer garden right after work? Did you just plum forget to bring your glass? If any of these things happened to you, congratulations, you probably now have extra Milwaukee County Parks glasses. You could always return it instead of bringing it home, but I know firsthand exactly how difficult it can be to give up a glass you’ve paid for that you’re able to (if not encouraged to) bring home, even if you already have a bunch.
They’re useful and actually pretty nice
Excluding the occasional Harley-Davidson Homecoming-branded ones and those garish red logo variations from, like, six or seven years ago, these glasses are actually quite subtle—if not borderline stylish in a classic sense—and, at least in my opinion, hold up very well to being run in the dishwasher. Plus using these glasses reminds you that you’ve supported a worthy public institution that helps to make Milwaukee and its surround suburbs a wonderful place to live, experience, and unwind. And if that’s not enough, the beer steins are good for watering indoor plants and whatnot.
Again, this could very well be a “just me” thing and I’ve foolishly just spent 800-some words revealing some nascent hoarder tendencies, but I truly think many-a Milwaukee resident has more Milwaukee County Parks pint glasses in their cupboard or behind their basement bar than they’d care to admit. Now in the waning days of summer and in the middle of a holiday weekend, we hope you get out there and put those Parks glasses to good use this year while you still can.