In How-To Wisconsin, we do that annoying internet thing where we explain how to do something fairly simple (in this case, something Wisconsin-y) but precede it with a needlessly long personal story.
The first drink I ever ordered at a bar as an adult of legal drinking age was an old fashioned. On the eve of my 21st birthday, my family threw me a little shindig at their favorite local bar in my hometown of Menasha. They bought me—a young man in the waning hours of being 20 years old—drinks all night because, well, it’s Wisconsin and that’s totally fine most places. When midnight struck and I officially turned 21, some of my already-of-age friends picked me up and brought me to celebrate at bars on College Avenue in neighboring Appleton.
Our first stop was Dr. Jekyll’s, a great little place near the Lawrence University campus with a nice fenced-in side patio, a classic interior complete with checkered flooring and crimson red accents, specialty cocktails (some with a limit of two per customer), and mostly tasteful nude portraits in their bathrooms. Having only been 21 for a few minutes at the time, I can safely say I had never visited that bar before that night.
I was introduced to a friendly older gentleman named Ron, then-owner of Dr. Jekyll’s and that night’s bartender. In the three years that followed before my eventual move to Milwaukee, I’d develop a rapport with Ron as I’d eventually become something of a regular. We got along well and occasionally he’d catch me a drink, which I was told was something of a rare honor. But on that mid-December night, we were brand new acquaintances.
Following our introduction, he asked me a question that I would be asked thousands of times in the 20 years that have followed: “What can I get you?” For a variety of reasons I won’t get into here, I decided to abstain from alcohol until a few weeks shy of turning 20, when I finally decided the time and circumstances were right to try it. So I was pretty inexperienced with drinking when my first legal night out came just over a year later. In that interim, I was kind of at the mercy of what older friends would get me…typically beer, Sparks (R.I.P.), and bad vodka or whiskey mixed with whatever soda I could find. Now, faced with what I actually wanted to drink, I…I didn’t know.
I recall freezing for what felt like an eternity, but was probably just a few moments before sheepishly asking for an old fashioned. Growing up in Wisconsin, I had been around old fashioneds much of my life. I knew my mom, dad, stepdad, and pretty much every other adult in my orbit would drink them at townie bars, Up North, when we’d go out for Friday fish fry, and when hosting friends. So my dorky, non-bar-going-to ass felt confident this seemingly happening bar on “The Ave.” could accommodate my request. Phew! I had done it. I actually ordered a drink at a bar.
“What kind?” Ron asked. In retrospect, he was likely disguising the hatred he suddenly felt for the 21-year-old twerp ordering a supper club cocktail after midnight on a weekend. As a bartender myself in later years, I would field similar post-midnight requests with far less patience than he displayed in that moment. (Also, don’t order a Bloody Mary at a bar after, like, 3 p.m. unless it’s totally dead!) Anyway, newly-21-year-old me probably managed something cool like, “Uhhh…um…” before muscle memory from overhearing countless old fashioned orders placed in my vicinity throughout my life kicked in. “Whiskey old fashioned sweet.”
To be honest, I didn’t really know what the fuck that meant at the time beyond containing whiskey and allegedly being sweet. Not to brag, but I totally know now thanks to a Gladwell-ian 10,000 combined hours of old fashioned ordering, drinking, preparation, and overall enjoyment. If you’re new to Wisconsin (welcome!), visiting from elsewhere (welcome!), or just share the general bar ordering inexperience I once had 20 years ago, perhaps this handy How-To can be of assistance.
To be clear, this is NOT a guide to making an old fashioned. Our new forum wouldn’t be able to handle the influx of comments about how my recipe was “wrong” if I went that route. The practice of making one of these things contains a world of variety. However, the spirit and soda options in an old fashioned are mostly limited to just a few combinations. A cocktail with so many options might seem intimidating, but it’s really not. I’ll show you.
The first word in your eventual old fashioned order will be your chosen liquor. In the vast majority of Wisconsin establishments with a bar inside of them, the options are either whiskey or brandy. Sure, you can get molecular with things and say bourbon instead of whiskey, or specify a certain brand (Maker’s Mark, Jack Daniels, etc.), but it’s whiskey—usually rail/well unless otherwise specified—or brandy by and large. If you say brandy, there’s an almost 100% chance you’re getting Korbel…though we’re noticing Berens Brandy is making moves in the state of late, too.
Onto the soda component. If you request a [name of spirit] old fashioned sweet, the “sweet” aspect will be provided by a lemon-lime soda, such as 7 UP, Sprite, or a generic substitute. If you’re not in a sweet mood, complete the order with “sour” instead, and your taste buds will be treated to a more tart citrus-forward soda like Squirt, Jolly Good Sour Pow’r, or even some sour mix in some cases. In better times, 50/50 was Wisconsin’s unofficial “sour” of choice.
If you’d prefer a diet varietal of your sweet or sour, feel free to ask, but prepare to hear that your request for Diet 7 UP or Diet Squirt cannot be accommodated. If you’re counting calories (at least by Wisconsin standards) and want to keep your old fashioned light, consider asking for a [name of spirit] old fashioned press, which features club soda instead of the “sweet” or “sour” soda.
Then get ready for the garnishes! Cherries seem to be the standard at most places I’ve been to, and you can’t go wrong with that. Orange wedges and slices are common, too. Sometimes you’ll get green olives instead of fruit, which I’m always happy to see. Every so often, a server or bartender will go the extra mile and ask what type of garnish you’d like with your old fashioned, then proceed to rattle off a bunch of pickled treasures like Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, green beans, pearl onions, and other types of brine-y beauts. Unless asked what you want to add OR if you want to make sure something isn’t present, I recommend just accepting it as-is and enjoying it as the professionals intended.
Congrats, you now have all the information you need to order an old fashioned in Wisconsin! Oh, and if you’re ordering an old fashioned outside of Wisconsin, disregard all of this and just prepare to receive a noticeably different type of cocktail. Cheers!
Want more Milwaukee Record? Subscribe to our free weekly newsletter and/or support us on Patreon.
RELATED ARTICLES