On Tuesday, December 2, in the year of our lord 2025, actor Hugh Jackman descended on Milwaukee to promote his latest film, Song Sung Blue. (The film dramatizes the real-life story of Milwaukee couple Mike and Claire Sardina, who performed in a Neil Diamond tribute act called Lightning & Thunder.) Jackman’s extensive Milwaukee itinerary included stopping by Kopp’s Frozen Custard in Greenfield and serving scoops of a special “Song Sung Blueberry” flavor. I stood in line for three hours at the Kopp’s event. This is my thrilling minute-by-minute report.
11:05 a.m. – Okay, let’s get the “Why am I doing this?” question out of the way. Back in 2015 I waited for eight hours at the Oak Creek Woodman’s to get a signed bottle of vodka from rapper 50 Cent. In 2023 I waited for three hours at the Costco in New Berlin to get a signed bottle of vodka from actor Jason Momoa. In both instances I compiled a “minute-by-minute report” that detailed my time in line. Thus, when the “Hugh Jackman at Kopp’s” thing was announced, I knew what I had to do. Journalistic integrity or cosmic destiny? Some are born to play Wolverine; others are born to freeze their eyelids off in the middle of winter while a guy behind them talks for 40 minutes straight about Wolverine’s different costumes.
Me (right) and 50 Cent (left) in 2015
11:15 a.m. – The logistics of the Jackman event are a bit trickier than 50 Cent or Momoa. The Greenfield Kopp’s is small and situated on a busy stretch of Layton Avenue, so parking and traffic are huge issues. Kopp’s and the Greenfield Police Department have spent the past few days stressing a litany of rules: parking at Kopp’s and cooperating businesses will begin at 1 p.m.; the Jackman line will form at 1:30 p.m.; Jackman and Song Sung Blue director Craig Brewer will start serving custard at 2:30 p.m.; only the first 500 people in line will get custard from the pair. All of these plans, of course, will be tossed out the window today.
11:25 a.m. – My plan? Park at the Olive Garden across the street from Kopp’s and take it from there. Yep, my day begins with a solo lunch of fettuccini chicken Alfredo and a bowl of chili at Olive Garden. When you’re here waiting for Hugh Jackman to serve you a scoop of custard in three hours, you’re family.
12:12 p.m. – I finish my meal and head outside. I overhear a woman in the Olive Garden parking lot: “I wouldn’t do that in Greenfield! Your wiener will fall off!”
12:20 p.m. – One glance across the street tells me the “can’t line up until 1:30” plan is dead and buried; there are already hundreds of folks standing outside Kopp’s. I dash across Layton and cozy up to the distinctive and charmingly odd Kopp’s architecture.
12:24 p.m. – I take my place in a messy, disorganized, and chaotic line. There are people with screaming children and babies. A Greenfield cop is making an announcement about towing vehicles. Two dudes are shouting at each other about one or the other trying to cut in line. And, most concerning of all, a young woman in front of me turns and asks, “Do you like jokes?” “Um, sure,” I reply. She proceeds to tell me jokes for the next 20 minutes. Some highlights:
“How do fishermen talk to each other? They drop a line.”
“Do you know why you shouldn’t eat a clock? Because it’s time consuming.”
“Why are corners always good in wintertime? Because they’re always 90 degrees.”
“Do you know the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.”
“These are fun,” I say. She smiles and does a little shimmy.
12:33 p.m. – There’s a big guy dressed all in black shouting directions to the crowd. It’s impossible to hear him, but it’s clear he’s running the show here at Kopp’s. A manager, I guess—incorrectly, I’ll later find out.
12:34 p.m. – Overheard: “It still hasn’t sunk in! I mean, it’s Hugh Jackman!”
12:35 p.m. – Also overheard: “There’s a joke about boomerangs, but I forgot it. It’ll come back to me.”
12:37 p.m. – The big guy is attempting to move and consolidate the line. It’s going shockingly well. “Don’t cut in line! Be cool!” the big guy bellows. People comply. Like a burly Pied Piper, he leads the first three or four hundred of us down into the wooded Kopp’s courtyard. This dude rules.
12:40 p.m. – I glance behind me one last time before ducking into the courtyard. There are thousands of people in line at this point. Yeesh. I spot beloved Milwaukee drummer and Face/Off fan Nick Lang somewhere deep in the line. Nick waves. I hope he makes it.
12:46 p.m. – Waiting in the courtyard is kind of nice. We’re out of the wind, the snow and the trees are lovely, and folks are dusting off the concrete planters to make seats. Also: “IF YOU’RE THE OWNER OF A WHITE TOYOTA YOU’RE ABOUT TO BE TOWED!”
12:54 p.m. – Overheard: “Three babies! That’s too many babies! It’s frickin’ cold!” The lady is right: it’s currently 22 degrees. What are people doing here with babies? What are any of us doing here, babies or no babies?
1:05 p.m. – Kopp’s is allowing folks to dip out of line, run inside and get a burger or whatever, and then dip back into line. That’s pretty nice. Sadly, I’m still stuffed from Olive Garden. Behind me, a guy talks loudly about his buddy with liver cancer (fuck cancer). Somewhere ahead of me, I know the Joke Girl has found a new friend when I hear a man say, “Sure, I love jokes!”
1:06 p.m. – Overheard: “If you’re not in the one-percent, you’re in a downward spiral.” PREACH.
1:11 p.m. – The big guy is making a big announcement. The first 500 people in line will get wristbands, and there are about 300 Song Sung Blue knit hats that will be handed out. “The one thing I love about Milwaukee is that everyone is kind and nice, and I really want us to put our best foot forward today,” the big guy says. “There won’t be time for selfies and autographs, but there will be a professional photographer to take your picture. Is that a deal you guys?” The crowd cheers in approval, though a dude carrying a poster and a box of DVDs looks crestfallen.
1:20 p.m. – This is the part where a guy behind me starts talking about Wolverine’s different costumes. And Deadpool. And Sony vs. Marvel. And the new Five Nights At Freddy’s movie. And the Beatles Anthology. (“The Beatles were weird!”) And Hugh Jackman’s gym routine. And…ooh! Time for free hats!
1:25 p.m. – Yep, the hats have arrived! People cheer as they’re handed free hats. Who doesn’t love free hats? Nick Lang texts me from the back of the line: “I heard cheering. What’s going on?” “Hats,” I reply. “Sick!” he texts back.
1:33 p.m. – I’m the proud owner of a fresh Song Sung Blue knit hat. It’s pretty nice! Unfortunately, the hats run out about 50 people behind me. One of the last folks to get one, an older woman, starts singing: “I got a haa-aat! I got a haa-aat!”
1:41 p.m. – I spot Sandy Maxx!
1:42 p.m. – I spot Gino Salomone!
1:43 p.m. – Overheard: “Oh my god, you have great jokes!”
2:10 p.m. – For the last couple hours it’s been hard to miss a woman at the front of the line wearing a shiny pink snowsuit. She’s clearly a Hugh Jackman superfan. As we get down to crunch time, however, she quietly takes the snowsuit off to reveal…a full Deadpool suit. Hahaha. This woman rules.
2:12 p.m. – Nick Lang texts me from the back of the line: “I think his truck just showed up!” Moments later, the big guy makes an announcement that “someone’s putting on his apron as we speak!” The crowd goes bananas. “I want all of you guys to scream for me, ‘Milwaukee loves Hugh!’ Okay? Be really loud!” the big guy says. “This is your moment! You’re going national, baby!” We are? Um, okay. “MILWAUKEE LOVES HUGH!!!”
2:15 p.m. – And we’re moving! Kopp’s is taking groups of 10 inside to get their Jackman scoops. A guy ahead of me starts singing “Sweet Caroline.” Everyone does the “BA BA BA” bit. A woman asks her friend why people are singing a Neil Diamond song. “I don’t know!” she replies.
2:24 p.m. – God bless this woman who made this lovely rendering of Hugh Jackman and brought it along today. I hope Hugh loves it.
2:37 p.m. – Okay, I’ve got to know who the big guy really is. Dude has been a hero all day. I dip out of line and approach him. “Do you work for Kopp’s? Are you a manager or something?” His expression hardens. “Absolutely not,” he says. “I’m Nick, and I work for Focus Features.” Okay! Sorry Nick! I slink back in line and pray Nick doesn’t kick my ass.
2:46 p.m. – And I’m in! The warmth of Kopp’s is a godsend after standing in the cold for three hours. I can see Jackman behind the counter handing out cones and posing for photos. “Oh my god! That smile!” a woman near me cries. An assistant asks if I have a wristband. Shit. Do I? Oh wait, I do. Okay, it’s my turn…
2:47 p.m. – I’m hustled up next to actor—nay, MOVIE STAR Hugh Jackman. He hands me a cone. Or maybe the director does, I forget. “Howdy,” I say to MOVIE STAR Hugh Jackman. “Howdy!” he says back. We look at the photographer. The photographer snaps a photo. MOVIE STAR Hugh Jackman pats my back. I’m hustled away. It’s all over in seconds.
Hours later I download the photo. You know what? I’m pretty happy with it.
Me (right) and Hugh Jackman (left) in 2025
2:48 p.m. – And that’s it! I take a few licks of my “Song Sung Blueberry.” (It’s good!) I watch the Deadpool Lady try to talk her way back into Kopp’s. (Nick from Focus Features ain’t having it.) Nick Lang texts me: “Some real hardcore Hugh Jackman fans here today. I think I’m the only guy who wore a Neil Diamond shirt.” I walk out of the courtyard and into the Kopp’s parking lot; the line is absolutely huge. It stretches down the block and around the corner.
2:49 p.m. – I cross Layton and hop in my car, which is still safely parked at Olive Garden. I’m frozen stiff. I crank the heat. I just spent nearly four hours on a mission to get a scoop of custard from Hugh Jackman. I ate at Olive Garden. Why? Who knows. I put on Neil Diamond’s “I Am…I Said.”
2:50 p.m. – “I am!” I say as I drive home, to no one there. And no one hears at all, not even Hugh Jackman, Craig Brewer, Nick Lang, Nick from Focus Features, the Deadpool Lady, the Joke Girl, or the thousands of people still in line. Okay, maybe the Joke Girl somehow hears. And I am lost and I can’t even say why.
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