Say what you will about “theme nights” for professional sports—they’re cheesy, overhyped, desperate, distracting, etc.—but it’s hard to deny that they give fans a small slice of fun in what might otherwise be rote games, or give folks something to look forward to when those games seem to be 8,000 years away. Enter the Milwaukee Brewers, who announced four theme nights for the 2015 season this morning, including—buckle up for this—a “Major League Night” featuring—still buckled up?—a talking Harry Doyle bobblehead. Yes, a MAJOR LEAGUE NIGHT FEATURING A TALKING BOBBLEHEAD OF BOB UECKER AS INDIANS ANNOUNCER HARRY DOYLE. THAT TALKS. (That’s all we got? One goddamn talking Harry Doyle bobblehead?) Oh, and “Major League Night” is July 21, when the Brewers play the Indians, natch.
There are other theme nights, too, which sadly aren’t “Major League Night.” (At least there’s no “Major League 2 Night.”) All the goodies are available to fans who purchase special ticket packages here.
Country Night (Joe Nichols postgame concert, Brewers cowboy hat)
Star Wars Night (bobblehead of Jonathan Lucroy as a Jedi, some Star Wars characters wandering around the stadium)
Zubazpalooza (’90s Brewers-themed Zubaz)
Major League Night (TALKING HARRY DOYLE BOBBLEHEAD that says “This guy threw at his own kid in a father-son game,” “Personally, I think we got hosed on that call,” and “Juuust a bit outside.”)