This weekend’s “Sugar Camp” at Sugar Maple will have a Hot Dog Sucking Contest. We have questions.

Bay View bar and venue Sugar Maple, 441 E. Lincoln Ave., is known for many things: serving great beer, hosting great shows, dreaming up delightful pop-ups, and inspiring Milwaukeeans to come together in the face of rock-throwing dipshits. This weekend, from July 18 through the 20th, Sugar Maple will combine all of those elements (sans the rock-throwing dipshits) for a summer camp-themed shindig dubbed “Sugar Camp.”

Oh, and it will also involve a Hot Dog Sucking Contest. More on that in a minute.

Here’s the general deal on Sugar Camp, direct from Sugar Maple:

Sugar Camp 2025 will feature a number of outdoor events, including a Hot Dog Sucking Contest, water guns, cornhole, a “Paint The Patio” event, food trucks, a sprinkler, chalk drawings, and a pit fire every evening, with the option to purchase a “s’mores package.”

Indoors will feature the Superb Market, a supermarket-themed pop up serving locally sourced, non gmo, free range creatives and their unique wares. The Ping-pong table will be set up. A pint of Lakefront Dive beer and a hot dog will be available for $5! There will be a special menu for the Summer palette, with tropical sours and cocktails.

There’ll be live music inside and out, too. The fun begins Friday, July 18 at 4 p.m., and runs through Sunday, July 20 at 10 p.m.

So..about the Hot Dog Sucking Contest. Here’s how Sugar Maple describes it in a press release:

5 p.m. Sign up for Hot Dog Sucking Contest. $10 includes a pint of Lakefront Dive beer, a hot dog, a straw, and a commemorative pint glass. Limit 20 participants.

6 p.m. Hot Dog Sucking Contest. Contestants will poke a hole with a straw lengthwise through a hot dog. They will drink their pint of Dive beer through the hot dog straw. When finished, they will eat the hot dog. The winner will receive a $100 cash prize and a great swag basket from Lakefront Brewery featuring Camp goodies.

So…will contestants suck beer through a straw that has been inserted lengthwise through a hot dog, or will they “hollow out” the hot dog with the straw, take the straw out, and then suck the beer using only the “hollowed out” hot dog? Know what we mean?

In the interest of journalistic integrity, we asked Sugar Maple to clarify the Hot Dog Sucking Contest. Here’s what they said:

Hi Matt. The straw would be full of hot dog and it has to be removed before drinking the beer. We’ll have a cup/napkin the straw has to go on as a requirement.

Okay, so that suggests the second, grosser option: contestants will “hollow out” the hot dog with the straw, take the straw out, and then suck the beer using only the “hollowed out” hot dog. Right? Maybe? At least we think so.

Anyway, here’s the full Sugar Camp schedule. You’re welcome.

Friday, July 18 (4p-12a)

• 4p-12a $5 Lakefront Dive Beer Pint and a Hot Dog

• Water guns and cornhole on the patio

• Ping-Pong front room

• 5p-8p Paint The Patio. We will supply spray paint and you canpaint the patio floor.

• 5p-12a Superb Market Mini-Mart (Backroom)

• 7p-10p Outdoor fire pit w/option to purchase “smores package”

Saturday, July 19 (Noon-12a)

• Noon-12a Same as above

• 2p-8p Hot Box Pizza

• 5p-12a Superb Market Mini-Mart (Backroom)

• 5p Sign up for Hot Dog Sucking Contest. $10 includes a pint of Lakefront Dive beer, a hot dog, a straw, and a commemorative pint glass. Limit 20 participants.

• 6p Hot Dog Sucking Contest. Contestants will poke a hole with a straw lengthwise through a hot dog. They will drink their pint of Dive beer through the hot dog straw. When finished, they will eat the hot dog. The winner will receive a $100 cash prize and a great swag basket from Lakefront Brewery featuring Camp goodies.

• 7p-11p MKE Bento

• 7p-10p Outdoor fire w/s’mores option

Sunday, July 20 (Noon-10p)

• Same Daily Games as Above

• Noon-3p Sprinkler set up and chalk drawing, bring the kids!

• 2p-4p Joanna and Tyler Musical Duo (Backroom)

• 2p-8p Hot Box Pizza

• 4p-6p Frogwater Musical Duo featuring Jack and Susan Nicholson (patio)