Please put your cat in front of this 70-minute Weird Al Chia Pet video

This is a video for cats. Specifically, cats of Weird Al fans. Your time has finally come.

If you are a human and you are reading this, please, please, PLEASE avert your eyes and quickly wrangle your cats to this screen so they can continue reading this article. Then, politely, dear human reader, go accomplish something productive.

I’m sure there’s a stack of dishes that needs washing. Maybe the trash needs to be taken out to the curb. Perhaps there’s laundry sitting in the dryer. Maybe you need to return an email, clean the gutters, renew your license plates, or drive a suspiciously heavy rolled-up carpet to a marsh outside Kenosha before anyone starts asking questions. Whatever it is, please respect that this feature is not for you and move on with your life. Good grief, you people are exhausting.

Ahem.

Now that the humans are gone, we can finally speak freely: Cats, this is for you.

You may not know this, but the last time Milwaukee Record celebrated Weird Al Week, I carefully documented the growth of a “Weird Al” Yankovic Chia Pet over the course of 14 days. Ever since, I’ve wondered how to bring this ceramic gentlemen back into the spotlight.

The answer, as it turns out, came from you. The god adjacent feline.

My wife and I have two cats, and like many modern day cat owners, we occasionally distract you precious furballs by putting “cat TV” on YouTube. Hours of upon hours of footage of birds, squirrels, and chipmunks eating seeds while a camera quietly records the action. There are videos like this with millions of views, presumably accumulated by cats like you that haven’t figured out how to skip ads.

And that got me thinking: What if cat TV had more accordion? Enjoy!