This week, the Milwaukee Brewers made a significant roster move when they traded fan favorite pitcher Freddy Peralta to the New York Mets as the centerpiece of a deal that’s bringing two promising prospects to the perennially thrifty Brew Crew. In addition to saying goodbye a player who’s a two-time All-Star, the reigning National League leader in wins, and the team’s Opening Day starter in both 2024 and 2025, Milwaukee also lost the guy with coolest name on the active roster as a result of the trade.

That being said, the future of Brewers with cool names actually looks pretty bright, as infielder Jett Williams was part of the return Milwaukee got from the Mets in this week’s Peralta trade. This winter, the Brewers also inked cool-named international prospect Ricky Moneys. In 2024, they signed another international infielder with a badass name (Jesús Made). If and when any of these guys ascend to “the show” as Brewers, their objectively cool names will be etched into Milwaukee baseball eternity alongside dozens of other players with names with a coolness level landing anywhere between “pretty” and “very.”

In Peralta’s wake, we’ve combed through rosters from more than 55 years of the franchise’s history in order to assemble what we’re calling the Milwaukee Brewers all-time “cool name” team. It’s far from scientific and it’s bound to make some of you irrationally upset because we left, like, John Jaha off the list or whatever, but we tried our best to fill out a full 26-man roster based strictly on position, name coolness, and exactly nothing else. Oh, and despite featuring some players with nicknames close to their legal name (ex: a Richard who goes by “Richie”), we left Corey Hart completely off this list because his actual name is Jon. Deal with it.

Position Players

Starting Lineup
C — Raúl Casanova
1B — Richie Sexson
2B — Fernando Viña
SS — Cody Ransom
3B — Don Money
OF — Sixto Lezcano
OF — Marquis Grissom
OF — Chuck Carr
DH — Prince Fielder

Bench
Lorenzo Cain
Alcides Escobar
Elvis Peña
Carlos Santana

Pitchers

Starters
Ricky Bones
Marco Estrada
José Mercedes
Steve Sparks
Randy Wolf

Relievers
John Axford
Ricky Bottalico
Valerio de los Santos
Roland “Rollie” Fingers
Chad Fox
LaTroy Hawkins
Damien Magnifico
Mac Suzuki

Honorable Mention
(Cool Name Minor League?)

Salvatore “Sal” Bando
Keon Broxton
Mike Coolbaugh
Rob Deer
LaVel Freeman
Carlos Gomez
Laynce Nix
Randy Ready
Ted Savage
Devon White