The 2026 general election is set for Tuesday, November 3. Wisconsin will choose a new governor: either Republican candidate Tom Tiffany or Democratic candidate David Crowley. There will be plenty of down-ballot elections, too, as well as the usual collection of purposefully misleading referendum questions that, on first glance, seem like common sense issues everyone can agree on, but upon further review are actually ways to lard up the state constitution with some anti-DEI shit or whatever.
November 3. About a month. Which means we have one month left of hearing about MAGA EXTREMIST TOM TIFFANY WHO SOLD OUT WISCONSIN TO BILLIONAIRE DONORS and MILWAUKEE DEMOCRAT DAVID CROWLEY WHO FAILED MILWAUKEE COUNTY AND RAISED YOUR TAXES every time we turn on the television. Or fire up a YouTube video. Or look at our phones. Or look at a billboard. Or just try to listen to the goddamn Brewers game on the radio for more than two innings without having to stick a needle in our ears. Fucking hell.
And don’t forget about TREVOR JUNG and BEN BRIST and BRYAN STEIL and HONESTLY WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE AND HOW WILL THEY DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ABOUT THE PRICE OF GAS OR THE PRICE OF ANYTHING OH THAT’S RIGHT THEY CAN’T AND THEY WON’T OH GOD JUST GO AHEAD AND POP THE BUBBLE AND KILL US ALL LIKE EMMA STONE DOES AT THE END OF BUGONIA PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. (Spoilers.)
But seriously: vote. Voting is important. This election is important. All elections are important. Find out everything you need to know at MyVote.com. It’ll all be over soon.
GO BREWERS.
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