Remember that scene in Blue Valentine when Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams go to a cheesy “romantic” motel and have incredibly depressing sex? God, what an uncomfortable, disheartening scene. God, what an uncomfortable, depressing movie. Ugh.

Anyway, in completely unrelated news, Sybaris Pool Suites is currently seeking customers to appear in a new set of ads for its cheesy “romantic” theme getaway rooms. According to a recent Facebook post:

Sybaris will begin production on new television commercials in the near future and we would like our customers to be the stars. If interested, please email or send a recent photograph plus one paragraph explaining what a Sybaris Getaway means to you. Everyone who enters will receive a Gift Certificate for a Free Late Check-out (up to $149 value) and those selected will win a Free Getaway! Please mail or email to:

Dan Fahrner
Sybaris Corporate Office
2430 E. Rand Rd.
Arlington Heights, IL 60004
[email protected]

P.S. This is the 2nd posting so if you have already submitted your entry there is no need to submit again.

Sybaris has five locations in the Midwest; its Mequon branch has been giving couples the chance to relax, drink champagne, frolic in a waterfall, and furtively fuck—if only for a few hours—since 1992. No word yet on whether you need to provide your own roses and/or black light if chosen for the commercials. [h/t DJ Hostettler]

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Co-Founder and Editor

Matt Wild weighs between 140 and 145 pounds. He lives on Milwaukee's east side.