Most of us would agree that tomorrow is April 14. Here in Milwaukee, many of us know it and celebrate it as “Milwaukee Day.” For nearly 10 years now, locals have marked this area code-based and Jeopardy!-recognized occasion with all kinds of cool events or by simply eating a bunch of Kopp’s while watching Major League again.
Shocking as it may sound, not everyone celebrates Milwaukee Day. It’s true! In other parts of the world, the first three digits on people’s phone numbers are totally different from ours and they’re not the least bit familiar with Bob Uecker or Charlie Sheen.
In these sad places, they’ve had to find other reasons to celebrate on Milwaukee Day. If you’re interested in expanding your April 14 festivities, we’ve compiled a list of other holidays that folks will celebrate tomorrow, and ranked them according to science. Some of these holidays are fun, some are totally bizarre, and some are so meaningful and important that we immediately deleted them from our list. All are real. Enjoy and have a terrific Milwaukee Day!
14. Ex-Spouse Day
Neat.
13. Dreams of Reason Feast Day
A day to celebrate discarded scientific theories and science fiction speculation. Whatever, it sounds like they have food.
12. Look Up At the Sky Day
11. Reach As High As You Can Day
Pro tip: You can do both at the same time.
9. Baby Massage Day
Baby hands are cute, but are they strong enough to deliver a decent massage?
8. Pathologists’ Assistant Day
7. National Gardening Day
Gardening is hard on the body so be sure to schedule a session with a masseuse baby.
4. International Moment of Laughter Day
Heh. (That’s a moment of laughter. Do that, but in Portuguese or something.)
3. National Pecan Day
Celebrate with pie and with everyone telling you that you pronounce it wrong, regardless of how you pronounce it.
1. Anthony Michael Hall’s 50th Birthday