Dear MKE SEX,
I’m a free-loving bisexual woman who has had a long hiatus from girl-girl sex. Between tending my primary relationship with a man, raising my kids, and working full-time, there just hasn’t been time to make the kind of connection I like to have with a potential sexual partner. But all that changed recently when I met this incredible woman. After we spent some time getting to know each other, we made plans to have a proper date. (Maybe it was an improper date now that I think about it!) It was so great to be with a woman again! I love eating pussy, and hers was especially nice. I kind of got lost down there and never wanted to come back. But when I woke up the morning after our date, I had a small sore on the underside of my tongue. A little online sleuthing revealed that I probably had something called Cunnilingus Tongue. I kind of remember getting this before. It seems to happen if I haven’t gone down on a woman in a while. But if I do it on the reg, it doesn’t happen anymore. Maybe it callouses up or something? I always assumed it was something unique to me and my big mouth, but maybe not. Does this happen to other folks too? Like, is this a thing?
Thank you,
Diving Deep
Dear Deep,
Yes, this is totally a thing. I’ve talked to a good many folks who gotten this from an exciting night of oral escapades of all sorts. Because while it’s sometimes referred to as “cunnilingus tongue,” it’s good to note that it can also happen during rimming and enthusiastic blow-job-giving. And you’re right. A lot of people only experience this the first few times they go down or if it’s been a while.
These small sores occur when the underside of your tongue and/or your lingual frenulum scrape against your bottom teeth, or even get caught between your teeth if you have any sort of gap. They usually show up within six to eight hours after sex.
They are largely the result of less than optimal positioning. You could probably find a position that would eliminate or at least minimize this. Elevating the pussy or (other desired body part) with a wedge or firm cushion to your face instead of diving for it in the mattress or couch cushions really helps. If elevating isn’t possible, you could try putting your partner at the edge of a bed, kneel in front of her, and invite her to rest her feet on your shoulders. (Even if you don’t care that much about the sore on your frenulum, elevating the pussy also helps with TMJ and neck aches.) It’s definitely related to how deep you have to go to make contact with the most tender bits. Spreading the lips or cheeks open, or asking her to do it, could also minimize (or maybe eliminate) these little buggers.
They tend to heal up in about five to seven days. Like everything else in the human body, they last longer if you touch them a lot with your tongue or fingers. To keep yourself from doing that, you could try a little Orajel or Chloraseptic to numb the sore. A drop of whisky works too. Also, if you have sores in other places in your mouth, or if they last longer than a week, or if they show up at times unrelated to sex, you should definitely seek medical advice.
Just to maintain my reputation as the buzz-kill sex-educator, I need to point out that these little sores on your frenulum are open wounds. That means that getting one during oral sex increases your risk for contracting an STI that can be transmitted orally (including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and others). Dental dams and condoms are your friends when you’re having oral sexy times!
Curious about cunnilingus? Anxious about anal? Do you have questions about queefs or problems with your prostate? Lucky Tomaszek is the education coordinator at The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique, Milwaukee’s only mission-driven, education-focused sex toy store. Send her an email at [email protected] and she’ll get back to you with an answer.