On May 28, some of the world’s brightest kids and adolescents will compete in the 90th Scripps National Spelling Bee (better known as the “National Spelling Bee“). The televised event is an amazing display of intellect, poise, and asking for words to be used in a sentence. By June 3, one child prodigy will leave a Maryland convention center with $40,000, which is bound to make most of us adults feel like total dummies.

To get you ready for the Bee, and to boost your ego when some little squirt from rural Oklahoma wins your annual salary for spelling “promyshlennik” or some shit, here’s a bunch of Milwaukee area businesses you can probably out-spell. Whether they use Z to pluralize words, opt to omit letters for the sake of style, butcher the word “dog” or toss around K’s with reckless abandon, none of these local establishments would make it out of a spelling bee’s qualifying round.

1. Best Friendz Klubhouse

2. Blu Milwaukee

3. Cutt Loose

4. C-Viche

5. Dogg Haus

6. Dr. Dawg

7. Easy Tyger

8. Gingerz Sportz Pub And Grill

9. Hangoverz

10. Happy Dave’z Pub

11. Jynx Night Club

12. Klik Launja

13. Milwaukee Vap & Smoke

14. More Than Jus Cutz

15. Nite Owl Drive In

16. Pig Tailz

17. Pleasant Kafe

18. Smoker’s Xone

19. Studz Pub

20. Sudz N Mor

21. Tint Boyz Window Tinting

About The Author

Tyler Maas
Co-Founder and Editor

Before co-founding Milwaukee Record, Tyler Maas wrote for virtually every Milwaukee publication (except Wassup! Magazine). He lives in Bay View and enjoys both stuff and things.