Here at Milwaukee Record, we employ a sentient machine known as the Great Job, Milwaukee! Bot to keep track of the city’s many appearances on dopey online lists, as well as any time a national publication deigns to acknowledges our pathetic Midwest existence. Occasionally, when it’s feeling especially ambitious/desperate, the bot widens its net to include the entire state of Wisconsin. Which brings us to today’s report: According to a nifty map recently posted to the equally nifty Data Is Beautiful subreddit, the top three Google autocomplete searches for “Why is Wisconsin so…” are “cold,” “humid,” and “drunk.” Sounds about right! beep-boop-boooooooo…

The map comes courtesy of redditor Salem-Witch, who uses his/her dark data powers to find the top three “Why is ___ so…” Google autocompletes for each state, province, region, and territory in the United States, Canada, and Mexico. Illinois, for example, produces “broke,” “flat,” and “Democratic,” while Minnesota rings up “cold,” “humid,” and “great.” The Midwest, meanwhile, produces “boring,” humid,” and “flat.” Huh.

Check out the map here, and join us in wondering why Idaho is so “Republican,” “conservative,” and “weird,” Pennsylvania is so “hilly,” “boring,” and “liberal,” and Kentucky is so “poor,” “humid,” and “bad at football.” whiz-beep-whirrrrrrr…