There exists a type of person who spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about, dreaming about, and worrying about zombies—an undead brain-eating creature that, last time we checked, does not exist. How will I protect myself during the zombie apocalypse? How will I protect my loved ones during the zombie apocalypse? How will I be able to find a secluded farmhouse during the zombie apocalypse, and how will I be able to tell Maggie I love her? These are the questions that rattle around the delicious brains of zombie enthusiasts, but one question seems to top all others: If I live in a city, where the fuck will I flee to once the zombie shit goes down?
Happily, for Milwaukee residents, that question has been answered by Toronto-based graphic designer Ryan McArthur. Over at Design Different, McArthur hawks a series of “zombie safe zone” maps, with cities like Dallas, Chicago, and Detroit making appearances. (Go ahead and make a joke about Detroit already being a zombie wasteland here.) Nicolet National Forest is identified in McArthur’s map as Milwaukee’s very own zombie-free haven (Chequamegon-Nicolet National Forest, if you want to be technical about it). It’s a nice choice, though only if you have a vehicle that can travel the 245 miles to get there. For Brew City residents looking for somewhere a little closer to home, we’d suggest the Horicon Marsh, the middle of Lake Michigan, or any bar or restaurant not showing the Packers game on a Sunday.